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xx_river_xx

Carson Shitty, NV

Hopeful Since 2007

Followers 207 Following 153

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Monday Apr 30, 2007

Apr 30, 2007
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Really tired the last few days. And I'm sick of the "spiritual" crap surrounding my family since I can remember. I thought I was rid of it, but last night my kids were in the middle of it. I've seen alot of unexplainable crap in my life, especially as a little kid, so the last thing I'm going to do is tell my kids they've immagined it or that it never happened. I got enough of that from my grandparents. No, your stuffed animal couldn't have gotten up in the middle of the night opened your closet and started throwing things at you while laughing maniacly with glowing eyes... I'm sorry, but I've seen way too much to ever tell my kids something like that wasn't real. It hurt growing up and having the only people who believed me being my mom and dad. Even then half of the time they didn't or they thought I was making excuses.

No, I'm not schizzophrenic. At least I can't get a doctor to say I am. I just think it's a lot of bad energy and spiritual darkness surrounding my family, and I want so desperately to be rid of it! I let my toddlers sleep with their toys locked in the closet and their bedroom door wide open last night. Even then it took until nearly 2am to calm them down. frown I had to bless their room and the house and even blessed them. I want to get a real priest to come bless everything. I'd feel better knowing a professional (who actually believed me) had done the job. I'm going in late afternoon tomorrow to talk to the priest at the catholic church nearby.

I felt so depressed and helpless last night. I thought for sure everything had been over with for good, but now I see my kids dealing with the very same things. Where did I go wrong? Should I just have kept them in church or something? Would that make a difference? I know that it never helped when I was a kid, but I don't know... My 3-year-old is terrified of rosaries for some reason, and my husband keeps throwing them in her face all the time. He hangs these crappy home-made plastic ones his mom sent up. As if they weren't ugly enough, he tells her they're there to keep away the bad spirits and they'll protect her, but she's scared to death of them. I think maybe they might work better as a ward if they hadn't been crappy plastic and homemade by a woman who hates me and everything I stand for. And if they were blessed. Isn't that a pre-requisite? I mean I'll do a protection ward or a circle-of-protection, or I'll call the four-corners and call the watchtowers... I'll pray with everything in me and invoke every good spirit of light and have perfect faith. But in the end, everything I have done has worked, for a while. ... But somehow the darkness always finds a way to sneak back in and wreak havoc.

I guess that was my pseudo-religious rant for the month.
altamedic:
wow ill send you all the positive energy to you in the hopes that it will help....hugs sweetie.....god i miss talking with you! drop a line sometime! hugs!
Apr 30, 2007

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