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xviolentxbeautyx

BALTIMORE

Member Since 2004

Followers 59 Following 34

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Sunday Aug 21, 2005

Aug 21, 2005
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So It hasnt even been a week yet, Im starting to go crazy. Its hard sometimes to put into words how you feel. I've always had my own way of doing so. I was chattin it up with Alex the other day. The only way I could think of explaining myself right now was " Do you know that feeling you get, when you've been between shows for a while? The one where it's been a nice break, but you want and need to get back into the swing of things. Only cause shits really starting to get to you?" Well thats how I feel. I'm the type of person that would keep myself busy to stay sane. Sometimes Id work 2 jobs, even on top of promoting on the side. Not to mention going out every other night at least and only sleeping 3 hours. If I had nothing to do, Id sleep everything away. It became a pattern. I didnt have to worry about shit. I was to busy worried about where I was going, who with, and what I was doing next. Most importantly, counting the days as they pass me by, till I have something to look forward to. I miss that.

I learned that no matter where you reside, where you sleep, who you are with, or how many "homes" you have.... It's still possible to not feel at home at all.
It's all relative. Its all become routine. Thats all it is. It's a circle, doing the same thing over and over again. You do it because you are used to it. Its hard to accept change as is. When it lacks the compassion or heart that one wants or needs, it makes it so much more of just that....... it is what it is.

Home is where the heart is.
Sure, I lived in a lil 3 bed room town home. Was room mates with 2 people. One which had moved out in June. The house might have been old. The people who had lived in it, might have had different personalities, different opinions, and different ways of living life. I can guarantee one thing though. The people who had lived in that house and the people who those people brought into it..... had some of the best times of their life and shared some great memories that will last alife time. No matter how much hardship we went thru, or trouble we faced, there is no doubt in this world that lil house had more heart then a 6 bed room house in the middle of no where or more than any one could ever ask for.
I miss that. I miss those memories. I miss my home.
I miss you.

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