xviolentxbeautyx

So after almost killing myself on the belt way in a terential down our of a river....
Not to mention drivingt my car into a lake that I like to call an intersection in fells point.
I finally made it home safely.
After a night of hanging out with some friends.....
sober!

Im pretty proud of myself.
Tomorrow will be a week.
::gives pat on back::



Ive been going nuckin futz lately...
it time to put an end to this.
Ive been falling asleep to my tears hitting the pillow.
Ive had the biggest train wreck in my mind,
Im so confussed I dont know which way the scarecrow has pointed me.... then again wheres my fuckin yellow brick road.
Ive done put holes in my body.
Taken all my meds to help me sleep.
Ive been sick of looking at this person Im disgusted with in the mirror everyday.
Ive bleached out my hair.
Colored it funky colors
yet still wasnt satisfied.
My dumb ass even picked up a pair of scissors and hacked my hair off to my chin.
WTF was I thinking,
Im a moron.
Please someone smack some sense into me before it gets worse.

I think its time to get put back on my medication.
I have to get this over whelming sense of panic and hoplessness under control.

Thank god I go to my doctor friday. I have been ill lately and really need to see wahts wrong,
The unfortunate thing is I stil have yet to get medical insurance, My blood works going to be a bitch. Especailly if they dont find anything.... again.

oh well.....
life goes on
g'nite