Since I've had the work week from utter hell, I decided tonight would be a mellow night. I have the new Sarah McLachlan on continuous play. It's fucking awesome and just what I needed to relax, but now I've managed to be drunk and depressed by it. Heh, so is my life. Has anyone given it a listen yet? I like drifting, answer, and dirty little secret. Exquisite.
So I have this friend. Haven't known her more than a few months, but we've already become good friends. We've hooked up a few times, but then she decided to take the high road and not risk fucking up what could be a great friendship. I have much respect for her because of that, even if it does suck for me. I'm so used to people using me. ANYWAY...we sat in a car talking about nothing and everything for 2 hours last night. 2 HOURS, people! I am in no way a talkative person, so that's saying a whole hell of a lot. We both admitted that we're still attracted to each other, despite trying to only be friends. She holds herself back from anything because she's so terrified of something going wrong. I guess she feels like it's better not to try at all, rather than risk it possibly ending up badly. I really feel like the fact that something terrifies you is exactly the reason to do it. How do you ever find out how good it can be if you never risk the bad? All I know is that she's beautiful, insanely smart, wickedly funny, and she makes me smile.
Does this make any sense? Anyone have any input? You know, all 3 of you who even read my journal.
So I have this friend. Haven't known her more than a few months, but we've already become good friends. We've hooked up a few times, but then she decided to take the high road and not risk fucking up what could be a great friendship. I have much respect for her because of that, even if it does suck for me. I'm so used to people using me. ANYWAY...we sat in a car talking about nothing and everything for 2 hours last night. 2 HOURS, people! I am in no way a talkative person, so that's saying a whole hell of a lot. We both admitted that we're still attracted to each other, despite trying to only be friends. She holds herself back from anything because she's so terrified of something going wrong. I guess she feels like it's better not to try at all, rather than risk it possibly ending up badly. I really feel like the fact that something terrifies you is exactly the reason to do it. How do you ever find out how good it can be if you never risk the bad? All I know is that she's beautiful, insanely smart, wickedly funny, and she makes me smile.
Does this make any sense? Anyone have any input? You know, all 3 of you who even read my journal.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
catatonicreature:
my best friend and i have been doing the same thing for 2 years. I love being around her shes amazing and perfect for me but our friendship is SO important to me that i couldn't bear loosing a lover and her at the same time. I know its pessimistic to think about it that way but thats the only way i can seem to think about it. Her and I are really attracted to each other and many times we have wanted to start something but i dont think i ever could. I would be so worried all the time id screw up. The point of all this is im probably going to miss out on something super amazing because im an idiot so i think i kinda know where your coming from
racer_x:
I am hoping to see you tomorrow night