xtc

4:54 AM: wake-up (screaming?) from a nightmare about Petra.
5:12 AM: still in bed - staring at the ceiling - waiting for sleepiness
5:21 AM: sleep won't visit me - trying hard to calm myself down - start my computer
5:34 AM: checked my (spam) mails - visited some art-communities - changing my profile here
6:02 AM: still no sleep in sight - this day will be fucked up before it really started - cursing myself for drowning the gun a long time ago in the river for Petra
6:35 AM: going back to bed praying for sleep or his brother death - fuck your god, look what he's done to me!

"...Tonight hell was sending an angel bearing gifts..."

GRAVESTONE
It's been a long day
mind's gone astray
and I feel this pain inside
reaching for love
only turned to a shove
I curse myself to be still alive

I wanna cry
under crimson skies
got no tears left inside
failing to live
only hate left to give
all for me
razorblade in my hand
I'm too tired, can't stand
yeah I can't live another day
lil cut through my vein
ending all the pain
finally...

Mister selfdestruct
all my life's been fucked up
nothing to be shown
on my nameless gravestone

Crowdfilled places
but I strive alone
sadness, sorrow
forever so alone

Life is like a sickness
and I am sick of it
no hope for a cure
now put an end to it...

music: spider jerusalem
lyrics: martin "x-tc" dinjer (yep, that's me)

Yes, the season is dark...