I'm on the edge here. I really can't take much more. I know I keep making decisions in my life that are making me happy...yet, I'm still dealing with a relationship that is FUBAR.
And why? I don't know. Am I a massochist that enjoys dealing with the pain and misery that is this relationship? Or do I just care that much and have that much hope?
I just want to be an important part of someone's life. I want to have fun, laugh, cry, and just experience life with someone. I'm not experiencing life...all I'm experiencing is sadness and loneliness. I shouldn't feel this way when I'm with someone.
Am I being idealistic? I don't think I am. I expect some issues to arise...and for things to sometimes not be 100% fantastic...but come on. It's been months now since both of us have been happy at the same time. It seems that the only time she is happy, is when I back off and let her take control of everything. And by that, I mean seeing eachother once or twice a week, and I won't even get into the sexual part of it, because that would probably upset me to a point that you would not comprehend unless you're like me.
Is it asking to much to be shown that I'm cared for???
And why? I don't know. Am I a massochist that enjoys dealing with the pain and misery that is this relationship? Or do I just care that much and have that much hope?
I just want to be an important part of someone's life. I want to have fun, laugh, cry, and just experience life with someone. I'm not experiencing life...all I'm experiencing is sadness and loneliness. I shouldn't feel this way when I'm with someone.
Am I being idealistic? I don't think I am. I expect some issues to arise...and for things to sometimes not be 100% fantastic...but come on. It's been months now since both of us have been happy at the same time. It seems that the only time she is happy, is when I back off and let her take control of everything. And by that, I mean seeing eachother once or twice a week, and I won't even get into the sexual part of it, because that would probably upset me to a point that you would not comprehend unless you're like me.
Is it asking to much to be shown that I'm cared for???
But you aleady know what I think.
Feel better hon. Maybe I will drop by HT sometime soon and say hi. *hugs*
but i will! ha ha...when the right one comes along, it just works. it's wierd. even when you're fighting, it still works. and it only comes along when you're not looking.
anyway, i hope you feel better. i have a frequent customer card that needs redeeming so maybe one of these days i'll come visit you!