xstephx

I am quitting class A substances.

I'm up, I'm down, I'm everywhere in between. I go from erratically, exstatically happy to morose at the drop of a hat and these mind and mood alterating substances- if their not the cause of my instability- can only be a hinderance to acheiving any sense of normality.

It's affecting my relationships with family and friends. My congnitive thinking. My moods and now I find out that unbeknownst to me it's affecting my job as well.

Enough is enough. I know that as a hard enough call to make it will be even harder to put into practice. But it's something that needs to be done. I need to stop being my own worst enemy and do what's right for me and my life. I'm sure with tlc and support i'll be just fine.

I've been concerned that my rationale and mood are a sign of deeper problems but I will never know if I can't judge them on an even ground. I don't want to live like this any more. Today is the first day. And I am making this commitment to myself with you as my witness. Day one and counting.