xstephx

finding peace with a problem is a pretty amazing feeling. like catching your breath. to feel your feet and reckognise the unfamiliarity of firm ground underneath them. waking up to find a sun in the sky and smile on your face. i'm free of something that up until now i didn't realise was a trap. i didn't want to admit was a rut. i felt so confused for so long. i didn't want to act because i. because confusion isn't security. it isn't clarity. and sometimes i wondered if it would ever end. or if i should just close my eyes and pick a hand and hope for the right one. maybe it was just hard because of my personal involvement in the situation. but then i remembered to take the handbreak off and the car moved. that's how it feels. i'm in my prime. well not the prime. i hope. but i'm in a great place. i have great friends. and i'm making more all the time. i'm going out. i'm taking chances. i'm having fun. i'm living. i'm being vague i know but that's just the space my head has rented for the time. life isn't bad. it's good. and it's real for me. it's real. i feel amazing right now.