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xspooky

California Shitty

Hopeful Since 2009

Followers 187 Following 186

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Wednesday Dec 09, 2009

Dec 9, 2009
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Haven't posted in a while.

After a month and a half of phone calls about cocaine the weirdo finally hasn't called lately.

I'm almost 6 months pregnant, it's a boy. I'm naming him Zane but I don't have a middle name picked out yet.
Apparently when you're pregnant people don't want to hang out any more. I've really learned who my really friends are these past months. I'm not that big and a lot of people don't even know that I'm pregnant. There's been people I've been friends with for years who have talked to me every day and then found out that I'm pregnant.. Now they won't return my phone calls or any messages//emails that I send them. It's so extremely rude. Everyone I chilled and partied with for every day of the past two years, people who I lived with even, will no longer talk to me at all, what-so-ever. They're to busy still drinking and looking for ways to get fucked up, I suppose. But to be honest, I'm glad I'm no longer part of that crowd. I'm tired of living my life day to day, wondering how I'm going to get fucked up that day. Now that I've sobered up I realize I did a lot of stupid shit while I was under the influence that I'm definately not proud of.

I've been over at Markayla's practically every day now. It's nice to go somewhere where not every single person in the house isn't on some kind of narcotic or completely shitfaced. She had a baby November 26, '08 and she told me that a lot of people did the same thing to her when she couldn't party any more because she was pregnant. So atleast someone knows what I'm going through.

I started feeling him moving about 3 weeks ago. It feels like he just sits there and pokes me. I don't like it at all. It aggriviates me because it feels so strange and some times I get scared because I think he's going to poke right through my belly. It frustrates me to the verge of tears some nights. I'll be glad when he's out. I can't stand anything about being pregnant. It all just sucks. Thankfully I've never gotten morning sickness, nausea, headaches or anything. That would make it so much worse.

Anyways, I have a little more to say but I'll just post later.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
fadetoblack:
you're better off without those kind of people, anyways. it's a shame they're too wrapped up in their own business to care. oh well, the ones available now are the most important.

btw, Zane is a great name.
Dec 19, 2009
pascipio:
Every woman I know has suffered during pregnancy. Once it is over, though, they have said, without exception, it is more than worth it.

I enjoyed your set. You are lovely!
Dec 19, 2009

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