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xsntt

Member Since 2004

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Thursday Aug 29, 2013

Aug 29, 2013
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So here is a question: What is the deal with girls being catty?

Keep in mind that I am male and that I am also an Anthropology major so I am not stupid about this and I have the capacity to understand how this kind of catty behavior works, but I really have not had anyone tell me anything that is not already inherently obvious...For example, DUH, I know that girls do that to make other girls feel afraid to challenge them or move in on their turf. I think this is why so many women have issues with insecurity. However, I don't get what the primary object is behind catty behavior? HOW is it meant to make the girl being catty look superior? As a male I feel that I would laugh off most of the jilts and slights that drive women crazy. It clearly works on women in a way it doesn't work on men. The odd thing about that is I know of no men who view catty behavior by the women around them as being even remotely acceptable. If I were with a girlfriend who suddenly displayed unexpected cattiness in some social situation, I would honestly dump her on the spot. That sort of attitude is revolting to me and most men I know. To speak from what I understand of the female perspective, I understand this is what women do in place of physical violence, but I find it no less offensive and wrong. I suppose it hurts more because women are expected to naturally be more supportive of each other's emotions -but that is really not a cultural universal. It works more here in this country than in say, Israel. Obviously most women also generally look down at catty behavior, so why does it exist? Why are new generations of girls in middle school enculturating this pattern of behavior? Many women keep up this immature attitude far into their adult years. It is mostly seen as pathetic and childish and it doesn't work as a means of improving anyone's standing in society, whether among men or women. Therefore, I can't see why this attitude hasn't literally become extinct long ago.

I am partly bringing this up in reference to some of the not so subtle remarks I have heard from girls about other girls on this site. Mostly I don't even notice it, but it has hurt a great many women I have gotten to know on here. What is ridiculous to me is that if anything it should be even harder to be taken seriously on SG if you are going around shitting on people and pissing them off like that...and I'm sure I don't even know very many prime examples. This is not "The Real World" on MTV, and even The Real World wasn't real in any way. People don't act like that in real life, unless they are acting out some childish fantasy where people will take that kind of crap seriously.

Does anyone have any personal experience with this to share? Ideas on the subject? Anyone care to bring their anthropologist/sociologist skills to table?
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
xsntt:
Thank you, sincerely, Abbikitti! I try!! I kinda hope women in this century come up with a more pragmatic approach to competition. I feel like the classic expectations of society have changed dramatically, but the behavior associated with competition have remained the same. Guys still get in moronic bar fights and women are still catty, for reasons I have trouble understanding. Competition is a fact of life, but some competition is a good thing and productive of results. Cattiness is normally a dead end, in my experience.

Wait, Trills...Am I to get from this that you are cooking cats? -And worse still, you are using pre-packaged crap to cook it with?! -Jeez, use a pre-made vegetable broth at least!!

I'm all for staying connected to your food though. I have been doing a much better job of that lately. I feel this has gotten slightly confusing though. I need to go see what you are responding to...

Society is very disconnected though, and Alice is a good example of a protagonist for our times!!
Aug 30, 2013
xsntt:
Ah, Trills cooking korma from scratch!! Impressive!! I feel totally how you do about pre-packaged food and I have been very good about cooking for myself lately.

As to defining yourself, I really have begun to do that too more, but combined with a really happy sense of settling into myself at last. I am just at the age I can be glad to be set in some of my ways. I'm not too old nor too young, and I am very positive about who I am for the first time in some time, to this extent anyway. Sometimes it is just pleasurable to really be yourself! Experience life from your unique perspective! Society IS disconnected and never more than now. Entropy applies to human culture just as it does to subatomic particles!! You aren't fruity, just right. Love yourself and know we can all love you more when you do!!
Sep 5, 2013

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