My father is dying and it is a humbling experience. He was talking and concerned about not looking very good when I saw him Monday. By Tuesday he already could barely talk and was clearly beginning to lose track of what was going on. My sister had not seen him in 15 years, since they had a falling out, and she came to see him -not knowing that the night before he had said that one thing he would have liked was to see her one last time. When she came in his eyes lit up, but he couldn't speak.
We started this week out with hopes a final surgery could correct my father's nosocomial infection by removing several of his infected bones, but by the time we saw the doctors on Monday they were already telling us it would be fairly pointless and painful to go through another surgery. My father has had probably 30 surgeries or more in the last few years and none of them have significantly helped his complications of Crohn's Disease. He has not had a large intestine (which is the source of most symptoms associated with Crohn's Disease) for decades now, but this hasn't stopped his body from eating itself away. The surprise for me was that he came back from the hospital seeming well in February and drove himself home. Now it is only June and he is less than half the weight he was before, and literally being eaten to death by a bacteria that no hospital in the country seems to be able to stop. Within three weeks he has gone from walking and talking to the point where the doctors had considered removing his legs and pelvis because they are so badly infected and they know he no longer has the muscle tissue to walk again.
Things go so fast in life sometimes that you wonder if you might miss your chance to really experience it. I am so grateful that I have known my father and that even as I may regret not having had some time I might have had with him, I have to remind myself that I knew him better than many people ever know their parents, and I had time to ask him all I could think to ask him and tell him all I could think to tell him. That is so much more than so many people have had that I am not able to feel I missed any part of him completely. Just knowing he will so soon be gone though, it makes a person wonder what worlds that each day could contain. We could live lifetimes in a few hours, yet a whole life can sometimes seem to take only a blink of an eye. My father is a complex and intelligent man who has always been a dreamer. At times it was hard to drag him down to Earth to be realistic, but for once I am glad I don't have to drag him back down to Earth. This time I think I will let him fly on.
We started this week out with hopes a final surgery could correct my father's nosocomial infection by removing several of his infected bones, but by the time we saw the doctors on Monday they were already telling us it would be fairly pointless and painful to go through another surgery. My father has had probably 30 surgeries or more in the last few years and none of them have significantly helped his complications of Crohn's Disease. He has not had a large intestine (which is the source of most symptoms associated with Crohn's Disease) for decades now, but this hasn't stopped his body from eating itself away. The surprise for me was that he came back from the hospital seeming well in February and drove himself home. Now it is only June and he is less than half the weight he was before, and literally being eaten to death by a bacteria that no hospital in the country seems to be able to stop. Within three weeks he has gone from walking and talking to the point where the doctors had considered removing his legs and pelvis because they are so badly infected and they know he no longer has the muscle tissue to walk again.
Things go so fast in life sometimes that you wonder if you might miss your chance to really experience it. I am so grateful that I have known my father and that even as I may regret not having had some time I might have had with him, I have to remind myself that I knew him better than many people ever know their parents, and I had time to ask him all I could think to ask him and tell him all I could think to tell him. That is so much more than so many people have had that I am not able to feel I missed any part of him completely. Just knowing he will so soon be gone though, it makes a person wonder what worlds that each day could contain. We could live lifetimes in a few hours, yet a whole life can sometimes seem to take only a blink of an eye. My father is a complex and intelligent man who has always been a dreamer. At times it was hard to drag him down to Earth to be realistic, but for once I am glad I don't have to drag him back down to Earth. This time I think I will let him fly on.
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I'm so sorry to hear about your Father. I'm not sure of his current status, but my thoughts are with you.
I had never heard of Crohn's Disease before I met my boyfriend nine years ago, and I was not a fan when I became acquainted with it. He too has had to undergo a colectomy, and various complications, through the years. Years to come are murky, but as you say, you can only prevail, family and friends can make all the difference.