xsinonskinx

Today is a sad day in my head. My ex boyfriend took his life the night befor last and I think that my lack of sympathy is not necessarily to blame but as I said much undesired and I think it may have lead to the pushing over the edge. Although not throughout our relationship I can say for the last few monthes I have tried to be more understanding. Although we were already broken up he didn't take my new relationship all that well and I found a suicide letter the following day. I didn't feel like I should be the one to talk to him so I told his best friend who told me that he calmed him down and everything was fine. That was about 2 months ago. I haden't seen him since the night I told him aside from lunch that we had 4 days ago. All the signs were pointing to something being wrong. I just never thought he would ever do something like this. He admitted to me that he had been doing drugs lately which is so not like Justin at all. I feel exceptionally guilty. While he had suicidal tendoncies befor me it was nothing that he ever followed through with. Not to mention that he had shot himself in the head with a gun that I know he didn't have meaning this was nothing short of premeditated. I don't remember crying this much ever, I hurt and it sucks so bad to know that you are the bitch that pushed him over the edge.