xsinonskinx

Ok I am a little bit calmer now. I don't really now how I feel about the given situation at hand with Patrick's parents but whatever. I am atleast not screaming obsinities... I definitely fear the given situation and how me not being able to see him as often is going to take a toll on our relationship. Faith never was one of my strong points, hence my lack of religion I suppose. Its hard to take pride in law built on stories. Its hard to put trust in feelings only expressed by words. He doesn't understand my lack of jealousy and mistrust given the physical separation but I don't question how he feels about me. Even seeing him every week or 2 I don't question as to whether what we have is enough, but a month here, a month there. I question whether that is long enough for him to forget about how we make each other feel or atleast grow tired of not having that feeling. I know that if there is one thing I deserve its a broken heart. My lack of sympathy for the opposite sex has been less then desireable and I am just very much frightened that karma is going to beat the living shit out of me on this one, and worst of all I totally deserve it and fully know that. Its been years since I have cried over a guy but I can honestly say that I am scared. It has been a really long time since I have felt this way, if ever and I am deathly afraid to lose it.