xrobbyheartx

i feel like im losing my mind. im constantly having anxiety and panic attacks. i started seeing someone and its like all the past rushes back to bother you. all the mistakes that you have let happen in the past to you, you think are going to happen again when you know they are not. lets start with the first thing.

i introduced my best friend (who happens to be a girl) to another one of my friends thats a girl. they hit it off and are all of a sudden besties. i would be wrong to say im not jealous but also i know i cant fill the void of a girl having a girl for a best friend in addition to me being one of her best friends. i guess im just used to spending all the time i have free with her but now i have to share it with someone else and its i dont know, bothering me...maybe im being immature.

when it comes to the girl im seeing. im crazy about her , we match up so well and make each other calm and happy in a life that now is never really calm nor happy. i mean i guess im just thinking too much into the fact that we arent boyfriend and girlfriend yet and are just seeing each other for now. she doesnt want to rush anything and in my mind in the past that always meant there was someone else when there isnt with this case. i guess i should just let things flow instead of worrying about everything.

i guess im just worrying about everything in my life wayyyy too much lately, just been having really bad panic attacks and anxiety over nothing. ive built up this giant scenario in my head about just being a loser, no one wants me or to be around me ect ect. i like to think im confident but i guess im really not. im driving myself nuts.