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Somewhere's in Fucklahoma

Member Since 2004

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Tuesday Jun 28, 2005

Jun 28, 2005
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This Update is Entirely About My Mother

O.k let me tell you a little about my mom.
For starters, she is nuts. I know people say that alot but my mom is totally off of her rocker.

This is not bragging because trust me I rarely see any of this cash but my mom is loaded. And when you have so much money and nothing to spend it on you go a little crazy.
She has this compulsion to buy anything with the word "new" on the label. Whether it be a new flavor of pop-tart or a new brand of deoderant, she has to have it.
Secondly, she goes on about four cruises a year and then in between those cruises she takes little trips therefore she buys ridiculous amounts of camping supplies even though wherever she goes she stays in a hotel. For instance. she has exactly 13 sleeping bags, and 9 ice chests in her garage. Most have never been used. She also has an camper and a boat. Camper= never used, Boat = twice used.

Now, if you ever get the rare opportunity to go out shopping with her. Dont you dare say "oh thats cute" or something like that because you will own it. Some may see this as a great opportunity but trust me it has its reprocussions.


I could go on and on forever but let me end this rant with this.
Yesterday, I get a call from her. "hey. shas, guess what? Im fixing to drive to Marlow (town in O.K) and get a staple put in my ear"

me:" a what?"
mom: " yeah, i saw it on t.v. yesterday, its supposed to help you lose weight."
me: " how is it supposed to do that?"
mom: "not sure, you are supposed to rub the staple everytime you are hungry or get a craving for food."
me: "thats insane, are you sure?"
mom: " well, i heard from so-in-so that her friend knows a friend who lost 15 pounds in two weeks from it."

the convo continued on from there but i just wanted to throw in the fact that she is into fad diets. I wont tell you how much that damn staple thing cost.

p.s She is bipolar.
VIEW 25 of 40 COMMENTS
therevolutionary:
have your mom buy me some pop-tarts
Jun 30, 2005
bastardo:
I know I know, you've missed me like crazy, there's really no need to go on and on about it.


You wanna sammich?
Jul 1, 2005

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