This entry shall be titled: Tis the season to be jolly. Or: Why I hate customers, reason 9,556,455,566,886 and ⅞
Yes, I am quite aware that it is August. If it wasn't summer, I'd be taking a full course load in addition to my shit job a Mi****ls Art's & Crafts. YOU DON'T HAVE TO ASK IF I KNOW WHAT MONTH IT IS EVERY TIME YOU SEE A CHRISTMAS DISPLAY. I understand that the shock and horror of seeing holiday themed decorations somehow seems to turn YOUR brains into putrid balls of slush, but I assure you that seeing this junk doesn't destroy MY mental capacities in any way. Yes, it is August. I guess in you 20/30/40/50/60+ years in this country you seem to have overlooked the fact that many retail locations stock seasonal merchandise in ADVANCE. Have you noticed that few stores are still selling bathing suits? Even though it's AUGUST?
Let me introduce to the
Grand Prize Fuckwits (xPariahx reserves the right to reassign the Grand Prize Fuckwit title to any future customer who exceeds the present Fuckwits in Fuckwitedness)
1. The man who told Tyler to tell the manager that he would never shop here again because we destroy the holidays and take away all the fun.
2. The lady who actually had the Manager on Duty called to the front of the store so that she could YELL at him about the fact that we have Christmas products for sale.
I hope both of you marry, have a child you love more than life itself, and then watch your child get mauled by rabbid Reindeer. And then have Santa and his elves gang rape you. Before AND after they strangle you with a string of Christmas lights.
And to all you you who come in November/December looking for the more popular Lemax Village products...HAHAHAHA. They'll ALL BE SOLD OUT. Your kids are gonna CRY and HATE YOU because you didn't love them enough to buy them before the other kids' parents did.
Yes, I am quite aware that it is August. If it wasn't summer, I'd be taking a full course load in addition to my shit job a Mi****ls Art's & Crafts. YOU DON'T HAVE TO ASK IF I KNOW WHAT MONTH IT IS EVERY TIME YOU SEE A CHRISTMAS DISPLAY. I understand that the shock and horror of seeing holiday themed decorations somehow seems to turn YOUR brains into putrid balls of slush, but I assure you that seeing this junk doesn't destroy MY mental capacities in any way. Yes, it is August. I guess in you 20/30/40/50/60+ years in this country you seem to have overlooked the fact that many retail locations stock seasonal merchandise in ADVANCE. Have you noticed that few stores are still selling bathing suits? Even though it's AUGUST?
Let me introduce to the
Grand Prize Fuckwits (xPariahx reserves the right to reassign the Grand Prize Fuckwit title to any future customer who exceeds the present Fuckwits in Fuckwitedness)
1. The man who told Tyler to tell the manager that he would never shop here again because we destroy the holidays and take away all the fun.
2. The lady who actually had the Manager on Duty called to the front of the store so that she could YELL at him about the fact that we have Christmas products for sale.
I hope both of you marry, have a child you love more than life itself, and then watch your child get mauled by rabbid Reindeer. And then have Santa and his elves gang rape you. Before AND after they strangle you with a string of Christmas lights.
And to all you you who come in November/December looking for the more popular Lemax Village products...HAHAHAHA. They'll ALL BE SOLD OUT. Your kids are gonna CRY and HATE YOU because you didn't love them enough to buy them before the other kids' parents did.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
Back in the day I was assistant manager at a retail store that sold holiday gifts, I so know what you are talking about. We had a GIANT fountain outside our store and I used to envision my personal grinch in a Santa hat slowly drowning them and singing Christmas carols while they yelled at me for selling Christmas ornaments out of season..lol.
Now I avoid retail like the plague.