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xojessxo

Hudson Valley, NY

Member Since 2004

Followers 380 Following 351

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Tuesday Aug 23, 2005

Aug 23, 2005
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I'm just so tired. Tired of feeling like I do. Tired of catching the brunt of everything and yes I may cause some if it but I'm just tired. I feel all alone, abandoned, unloved, Forgotten about. I feel empty inside. I feel like I've been pulled inside out. I feel as if I'm always walking on eggshells, afraid to take the next step because of the consequence. I'm tired of feeling like I'm 2nd or 3rd to everything else in life. Afraid to say something thinking I might get snapped at or not even get an answer back. So lately I just sit back and try to not say anything hoping it will get better but I'm afraid its all just getting worse. I feel so empty that it hurts, my heart aches. And I wonder what hes thinking, if I even want to know. Is he bored with me? Is he tired of me? Do I even make him happy? Will I ever? What did I do wrong? So I don't keep the house always clean or keep up on laundry and may annoy him at times more often then not but I love him so much. More than anyone ever could or ever will. I am so in love with him. He's the first person I've ever been in love with. I'm afraid he's falling out of love with me. I probably sound crazy but its how I feel.

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