I cant believe that I just sent the paper that has caused me so much stress...it's over and tomorrow I submit my final final (I know, it's redundant--give me a break it is 2 am). I don't know if my sleep cycles will ever recover. I do know that tomorrow I have to walk with Nathe BB to the shuttle stop and give her a dozen chocolates. I will miss her but I am mos def gunna send her the Scottish postcard with the man-kilt-bum. I am getting more and more nervous because I have never done this flight alone.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
I am really kinda excited to see James this Friday and don't know what that means. I know I don't want to be with him but he is my best friend and that means alot to me and I take comfort in having him around (I say this pre-emptively because I know that after an hour of having him around, after I am all fattened up and over my enthusiasm to ride in a car, I will be counting down the minutes until I leave). As much as he makes me scream, I am scared of life without him--there, I said it. Hate me but know that I find it impossible to look straight ahead...I am constantly too concerned with what's in my rearview.
Fuck, nights like these make me doubt my ability to move on in my life.
I think it's also the whole Christmas season,
I need an ocean between us--Christmas has always been kind to us.
also...
Additionally,
please, summer, come back...
