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xmt

Member Since 2002

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Tuesday Mar 15, 2005

Mar 15, 2005
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well...
i spoke to kurts wife last night, and it looks like it was a suicide.
his memorial will be this sunday so i'll going to that.

i haven't seen these friends of mine in a few years.
we had all been really tight for a long time but we drifted apart during some bad episodes in each of our lives/relationships.
it's going to be interesting.

suicide is such a complicated thing for me. it affected me very closely when i was younger...in high school.
i lost a mentor to it, and it was really hard for me for a long time.
i've also been prone to some pretty severe depressive episodes myself...it seems to be a part of my nature. while i haven't had to deal with those kinds of feelings in a long time, i still see myself as a future suicide from time to time.
my attitude about it has changed alot over the years, and i have a really difficult time listening to people talk with disrespect about anyone who has taken that walk.
not to say i encourage it. i know first hand the weird repercussions such a seeming isolated action can have to people so far removed from the centre...wings of a butterfly and hurricanes...you know.
i do think there is something respectable about overcoming mans greatest fear and throwing yourself into the unknown...
cashing in your only birthright early...
this is no moment of weakness, and i won't hear anyone say otherwise.

VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
coco:
i keep missing the time to talk to my birdie. frown
Mar 16, 2005
zyryx:
sorry about your friend. suicide is a tough one. I've never had a friend take the walk, I'm the one who's delt with the feeling most of my life. I agree not to encourage it, but I understand the drive, we all have a limit to the pain we can deal with. I know a little about what you might be feeling, and if you need someone to talk to,l I'd be happy to have a few beers and listen
Mar 16, 2005

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