An update to my last blog, it's time for some pure honesty. I was makign it out to seem liek teh situation wasn't that terrible, I was 'sneaky texting' and Boobzilla put it. And partly because I wasn't happy with April, at least not fully, and partly because Iw as mentally distraught over teh whole abortion thing. It was witha couple of people, not just one, and I said some very sweet and endearing things to them, which is NOT OK when you are in a relationship.
Part two: I went back over there last sunday to get a couple things that I had left, and we ended up having it out. I learned a few things about myself, primarily that anytime I have loved someone or claimed to love someone, I have not respected them or their feelings. I have done this in many areas of my life over the course of teh years, and I plan to change that. Secondly, I learned some things about April, mostly having to do with how amazing of a person she truly is. I think I severely misjudged her in teh beginning. First of all, the fact that she even stayed around is completely mind-blowing after what I did, then you factor in that she has drawn herself closer to me than before, she said that if I was doing that then maybe I wasn't happy fully with her, and she's trying hard to make sure that I will be. This of course has two effects. One, I feel MUCH worse about what I did to her, how could I have done something so terrible to such a sweet and amazing person? Number two, it does actually work, I feel like her and I are closer together now, and stronger as a couple than we ever could have been otherwise. She's still trying to change everythign about me, but I love her so much for it, even when I argue every step of teh way. This woman has shown me a compassion and caring and love that run deeper to her core than I ever would have dreamed possible, and more importantly, deeper thann I ever gave her credit for. She's truly unbelievable, and I am never going to let her forget that again, I'm still nto terribly excited over the loss of teh baby, I still don't like having to do have done that, but I do knw that it had to be done, and I do accept it. I honestly think I go forward from here as a stronger and better person, with more meaning and devotion in my life, and, of course, an amazing girfriend who is teh world and my heart and soul
Part two: I went back over there last sunday to get a couple things that I had left, and we ended up having it out. I learned a few things about myself, primarily that anytime I have loved someone or claimed to love someone, I have not respected them or their feelings. I have done this in many areas of my life over the course of teh years, and I plan to change that. Secondly, I learned some things about April, mostly having to do with how amazing of a person she truly is. I think I severely misjudged her in teh beginning. First of all, the fact that she even stayed around is completely mind-blowing after what I did, then you factor in that she has drawn herself closer to me than before, she said that if I was doing that then maybe I wasn't happy fully with her, and she's trying hard to make sure that I will be. This of course has two effects. One, I feel MUCH worse about what I did to her, how could I have done something so terrible to such a sweet and amazing person? Number two, it does actually work, I feel like her and I are closer together now, and stronger as a couple than we ever could have been otherwise. She's still trying to change everythign about me, but I love her so much for it, even when I argue every step of teh way. This woman has shown me a compassion and caring and love that run deeper to her core than I ever would have dreamed possible, and more importantly, deeper thann I ever gave her credit for. She's truly unbelievable, and I am never going to let her forget that again, I'm still nto terribly excited over the loss of teh baby, I still don't like having to do have done that, but I do knw that it had to be done, and I do accept it. I honestly think I go forward from here as a stronger and better person, with more meaning and devotion in my life, and, of course, an amazing girfriend who is teh world and my heart and soul