xkonstantinex

i couldn't sleep more than an hour or two last night. when i woke up it felt like there was a huge hole in my life.

tonight we had a fundraiser at a bar at the beach to get money together to have a funeral because his mom and the rest of his family simply cannot afford it and he didnt have life insurance. it was weird being in the bar where he worked and him not being there. his mom and brother flew in from florida this morning. it was nice to see everyone there and for his family to be there... i wish it had been under better circumstances. he loved the beach so a few of us went and sat on the beach for a little while tonight and just talked about the good old days. haha he always said he wanted to live like a gangsta and die like a gangsta... and well i think he did a damn fine job of it! i found out a little bit more about what happened and it honestly took every ounce of self control not to punch someone or throw up when i heard the new info. we still dont know the motive behind it, which is really unsettling. but it had to have been something pretty fucked up because they were best friends and honestly have been like family to each other for years.

me and one of my good friends made appointments this afternoon to get tattoos in honor of our friend Sal on next saturday (exactally a week from when it happened). we're getting crosses with the date he was killed, because ever since i met him he was always wearing a cross on his chain and had them hanging around his house and it just seems right.

thank you all for all of your concern. as for now everything is just too surreal to believe.


**edit**
aaaaannnnndddd.... 2 members of the band Mae quit the band...