xkonstantinex

okay so here is how my evening went down...

me, kevin, jake, and joost were going to the astronautalis concert at relitave theory. we get there things are going great before the show. i found a sweet bouncing souls record and a cd i wanted to hear really badly [de facto]. so im at the register checking out, and the 1st band is just starting their set... and who of all people in the world walks through the door... thats right folks, ryan johnson. for those of you who don't know, we were best friends for almost 4 1/2 years or so, and now he hates me... for stupid reasons... to be quite honest he was the 2nd best friend i had ever had in my life, the 1st person i was able to call a best friend after my 1st best friend died. ironically he is the only person in my entire life to my knowledge that has ever hated me. to make it worse he was with people i am friends with, so once they saw me their whole group came over to where i was and started talking to me, the whole time this was going on he just stared at the floor... gahhh it was so so so uncomfortable. eventually just me and my friend emily [who was with him] and she was telling me all the stuff he had said in the car on the way to the venue when he heard that i would be there. i laughed it off, and changed the subject. so after i got out of the show i started thinking about it and it truly broke my heart. how people can say things like that about people they used to love so much. i dunno, it just reminded me why i dont want to grow old. yep i see nothing good coming from growing up. and quite honestly im hoping to die early. late 20's would be fine with me. anyways, i guess this evening just made me take a good look at all my other relationships, and second guess them, cause if someone who was that close to me could hurt me like that... what is everyone else capable of doing? ugh. i hate this.