its official... the monroe has been retired. its really sad. i miss it already, but i thought long and hard about it today and decided it was just that time. i took it out last week for a few hours for community service and when i went to put it back in on my lunch break i could only get an 18g nose screw back in it. and the nose screw was pretty uncomfortable to wear in it. plus i had been toying with the idea of getting rid of it for a while now because of my new piercing plans. so im gonna take it as a sign from the piercing gods that is time to move on without it. lol.
but here is what you can expect in the near future!!
im gonna get a stud on the other side of my nose and get my bridge pierced.
all in all im happy with my decision for now, but we'll see how things go.
i also felt it necessary to write one of those pour your heart and soul out blogs today. which if you care to read ill copy and paste it below. its kinda long and keep in mind i was drunk and all emotional when i wrote it.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
[[brace yourself for an intoxicated/emotional rant]]
i suppose the real reason for this note is the thoughts ive been having lately. anyone who has known me for a while knows i am not one to ever under any circumstance give up on a friendship. and until recently i hadn't ever had someone give up on me. but i guess that just comes with the territory of getting older. its discouraging though, i used to be the kind of person who would not under any circumstance loose a friend, i would work through any problem no matter how big to avoid loosing someone. and i guess when i did loose a friend, it ended up being the one that mattered the most, and in all honesty id do anything to fix it. and then things went downhill from there. first i was mad, and tried to act like it wasn't my fault, and in retrospect it was entirely my fault. then i got really sad about it. then i started giving up on my other friends. now i guess im spiraling down. its hard for me to put up with everyones excuses and day to day bullshit that i used to let slide. which makes me wonder... have i really outgrown most of my friends? its to the point that i wouldn't be the slightest bit upset if i didn't see them again. i guess it all really comes back to how much i let people walk all over me in the past, but ever since this whole SG experience started im able to stand up for myself a bit more, and i don't want to settle for friends just cause its someone who lives near me that i can hang out with. SG has let me meet people who i genuinely have something in common with, which i haven't really ever had in the past. i mean there has been a person here or there, but on SG they are in the masses! especially at the photoshoot, meeting some of the most amazing and fascinating people i've ever met. its devastating to know that i don't live near alot of these people. which brings me to my next point; i have outgrown virginia beach. which is sad on a whole new level, my home doesn't feel like home anymore. sure im scared to leave, but there is nothing here for me, other than my sister, and a small handful of people. its sad to think that out of almost everyone i know here im probably gonna miss my piercer and tattoo artist more than the people i grew up with. and even sadder is that the handful of people that i will miss are the ones i barely hangout with here anyways. i wish i did hangout with them more, but it just never happens. as im writing this i cant help but have tears come to my eyes, cause everything i was so sure of, and everything i fought for was for nothing. its sad when people i just met and hung out with for 4 days have changed my views on friendship and what i could have. i wont ever find a guy here, cause ill always be that weird tattooed and pierced girl, who they try to out drink at parties but never will [on that note, i feel as if i've been reduced to a party novelty], and thats it, as discussed on SG many times the girls who are truly a part of the tattooed and pierced subculture intimidate most people, so finding a relationship for us is much much harder. i guess im gonna quit my bitching, cause you know what, i made a choice to join this subculture, i could have conformed to be like all of you, but i didn't and thats mine to deal with. maybe it would be easier to conform, but you know what at the end of the day i can rest easy cause i know im not trying to fool myself.
now this note is not to say that i don't like you in particular, these are just generalizations.
have a nice night, and hope everyone who has a boyfriend or a girlfriend has a lovely valentines day, as for me, ill be loathing it like the rest of the single people in the world.
Oh, and I'll be loathing v-day right along with you.