xiolita

well let's see....
he came back, asked to come over and watch me my make hoola hoops all night ...avoiding all the questions we'ver been talking about so I brought it all up, tired of the struggle.

Told him he didn't have the balls to just break up so I'd do it and we could move on...BUt no, that backfired on me...after that he was ready to talk and wanted to remain with me as boyfriend/ girlfriend while he struggles through his emotions ...
hmmmmmm, I should have known....all he wanted to do was stay the night and my heart gave in to him and thinkning, ok, he's ready to step up and rock my world ...... but then, he came and I didn't and I'm fucking pissed!!!! Damn pre- ejaculation! What is the fucking point of having make up sex if you can't even last 10 minutes????

so, I thought about all of this while he was sleeping so peacefully and I was left hangin'......what am I doing??
so, the next night I met him and had to break it down, and break it off.....
Of course, it wasn't so smooth and now we are at odds...but it gets better...
one of my best friends had to tell me she heard through the grapevine that were already broken up and he had plans to do so when we got back from europe,......damn, ouch...

.why would he say something like that to a friend at a party knowing it would get back to me??? maybe thats why, cause he doens't have any balls...
anyhow my ego 's all bent outta shape and I can't believe I just ranted thru this entire journal...someone feel free to slap some fucking sense into me and tell me why the fuck do I care and why do some lovers not make sure you get off if they get off??? is it soooo hard to take care of someone??? isn't there like a sex ettiqute class somewhere that says hey, it's a team sport, love .... anyhow, closure is needed and Im ready to meet a man who can....thanks for listening