Just moved into my new apartment on Saturday. I'm sooooo glad I'm not looking for a place to live anymore as these past two months have been hellish...finally I can settle down (for at least a year...)
other than that though...I'm not very happy but I don't know why...I'm living with one of my best friends, I've got pretty good game (for the time being), my money situation isn't as atrocious as it was a month ago...
but I just feel really incomplete right now...like I'm lacking or missing something but I don't know what...I just have this overwhelming sense of melancholy...
And I'm starting to lose motivation (or is it direction?) for school right now which really bums me out because I feel like for the past three or so years I've been trying so hard to go to school and stay on track but I'm always encountering some impediment or another and I just want to go to school goddammit and not have to worry about a stupid paycheck that's just enough to get by...And the government doesn't help at all...According to them, I make too much money to qualify for financial aid but I can't afford to not work for a year or take an extreme paycut in order to qualify for anything...I just want to go to school and get my education...is that too much to ask for...?
bah! I'm tired of the whole fuckin' thing....
~~~~~~~~~
this is stuck in my head right now:
Insanity - the normal state
The left hand the hammer
The right, the stake
It's driven deep into the the heart
It's killing love
It's killing faith
It's killing cause it's from the heart
What' better way to demoralize
When your own children are your spies
The thing you trust is not the same
Trust in death
Trust in grief
Trust in hope is
Trust in pain
Who is evil who is blind?
In the name of who you find
A city of souls dying for peace
Welcome to the belly of the beast
One mind, one voice
Welcome to the belly of the beast
who hears your voice?
~~~~~~~~~
David Vincent D'Andrea is one of my favorite artists...
~~~~~~~~~
current mood:
stoned with a headache
other than that though...I'm not very happy but I don't know why...I'm living with one of my best friends, I've got pretty good game (for the time being), my money situation isn't as atrocious as it was a month ago...
but I just feel really incomplete right now...like I'm lacking or missing something but I don't know what...I just have this overwhelming sense of melancholy...
And I'm starting to lose motivation (or is it direction?) for school right now which really bums me out because I feel like for the past three or so years I've been trying so hard to go to school and stay on track but I'm always encountering some impediment or another and I just want to go to school goddammit and not have to worry about a stupid paycheck that's just enough to get by...And the government doesn't help at all...According to them, I make too much money to qualify for financial aid but I can't afford to not work for a year or take an extreme paycut in order to qualify for anything...I just want to go to school and get my education...is that too much to ask for...?
bah! I'm tired of the whole fuckin' thing....
~~~~~~~~~
this is stuck in my head right now:
Insanity - the normal state
The left hand the hammer
The right, the stake
It's driven deep into the the heart
It's killing love
It's killing faith
It's killing cause it's from the heart
What' better way to demoralize
When your own children are your spies
The thing you trust is not the same
Trust in death
Trust in grief
Trust in hope is
Trust in pain
Who is evil who is blind?
In the name of who you find
A city of souls dying for peace
Welcome to the belly of the beast
One mind, one voice
Welcome to the belly of the beast
who hears your voice?
~~~~~~~~~
David Vincent D'Andrea is one of my favorite artists...
~~~~~~~~~
current mood:
stoned with a headache
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
the goverent WILL hwlp you. i wrote at least a hundred letters to hundred different organizations until finnaly "the unisted states historical society for tehfine arts" wrote me back andgave the $$,$$$ to pay for my school. like my grandpa said.
"once you quit walking , youll get walked on"
hang in there.
You live in Emeryville? I was supposed to be living there right now and starting at Ex'pression at the end of this month. Didn't pan out, though.
It was so nice meeting you at The Cat Club!! I did tell my boyfriend that I'm an SG. His response was, "Really? Do you mind if I, uh, tell people??" lol.
Toodles!!