xiii

Too many changes to ones life all at the same time can be hazardous to ones health and mental well being.
first off, I decided to quit smoking weed. I smoked my last bowl on sunday morning. second, I've decided to change my career. I've been blowing glass professionally for 9 yrs now. I am burnt the fuck out. I have a degree in music and video production. I've decided to pursue that again seeing how I have been putting off and putting off repaying my student loan for 9 fucking yrs now (is that even possible?? well yes it is!) and I have no more deferments available to me and I have to start repaying $300 a month for 117 months. After interest and all I will have paid about $35,000. Right about now a nice stable union job is sounding real good to me. On top of all that I've decided to do the low-carb thing again(ya I know....it sounds silly but it worked for me before and I was able to lose 25 pounds on it last summer, but I gained about 13 back over the holidays). Fuck. You probably think I'm sounding like a little bitch, but fuck you. With all these new changes, tensions have been running high between me and the wife. It's not a good time. And I haven't had much luck finding a job. I wake up feeling nauseous and have a head ache most of the day not to mention I'm in a bad mood most of the time now. somethings got to give.
Shit...........some Jehova's witnesses just knocked on the door. I'm pretending not to be home. See, my wife is a collage artist and she collects those little booklets that they hand out so she can cut them up and make art out of them showing how hippocritical religion is. I mean these people in particular are nice i guess, but I fucking hate orgaized religion and I know sooner or later they're gonna ask to come in and talk or ask us to come to thier church or some shit. I'm just not up for dealing with it today. Besides, It's her deal and she's not home right now. OH YA, and I shipped a $254 c.o.d. package to a customer on 12-31-03 and fedex fucking lost it. No one can tell me what the fuck happened to it. And a couple weeks ago I shipped a package to that store MAYA on Melrose in Hollywood, and while it was in FEDEx's possession, someone cut it open from the bottom, stole some stuff out of it, then folded the box shut and delivered it. WHAT THE FUCK??? Do they have a bunch of crooks working for them or what?? So I guess some fedex employee is walking around with a bunch of free glass plugs compliments of me.
Fuck, I don't think I've ever written a journal entry this long. I guess I had some venting to do.