xgoatboyx

Right here, all by myself
I ain't got no one else
The situation is bleeding me
There's no relief for a person like me

Depression's got a hold of me
Depression-i gotta break free
Depression's got a hold of me
Depression's gonna kill me

I ain't got no friends to call my own
I just sit here all alone
There's no girls that want to touch me
I dont need it
I don't need your fucking sympathy

Depression's got a hold of me
Depression-i gotta break free
Depression's got a hold of me
Depression's gonna kill me

Everybody just get away
I'm gonna boil over inside today
They say things are gonna get better
All i know is they fuckin' better

Depression's got a hold of me
Depression-i gotta break free
Depression's got a hold of me
Depression's gonna kill me

Depression's got a hold of me
Depression-i gotta break free
Depression's got a hold of me
Depression's gonna kill me

I hate it when people put song lyrics in their journal but the above is apt to my situation right now. Havent written anything in a while because there hasnt been anything worth writing about. Ive been badly fucking depressed the last few weeks over the Manor situation, its becoming obvious that they dont want me to DJ any more, I knew it wasnt going to last that long which is why I tried to cover as much musical ground whenever I did a set (I can be proud in the fact that I was responsible for playing a lot of music that wouldnt have been played otherwise). Also another thing bearing down on me is the job situation, I asked Mike last night if there were any jobs going at the Tap, its not what I really want to do but at least its somewhere to go and an excuse not to go to the Manor every bastard week, also Im hoping that working there would increase my people skills, which bring me to the other, other thing, the girlfriend situation. Being Autistic Ive always found it hard to maintain conversation with people, and I just never learned how to chat up girls. Ill be talking to a girl then Ill just run out of things to say and therell be an uncomfortable silence until the girl excuses herself or Ill see that Im making her feel awkward and Ill excuse myself so I never really form any relationships with girls other than the ones Im friends with. Which would be the other benefit of working at the Tap, no matter how ugly you may be as long as youre wearing a Tap N Tin shirt, girls will actually give you the time of day (but then I thought that about DJing at the Manor). Whatever the fuck, Im badly depressed and I feel like I need out. I just bought a load of tickets for shows in the upcoming months and next week were all going up to London for that club so that should be fun.

I know Im pathetic for putting my feeling on the internet like this but I find writing about this stuff does help a little.

Ok, youre all welcome to post comments and make fun of me now.