Gah.
I love how everyday is a disapointment. Even moreso, I love how every disapointment is probably my fault.
Moving on...
I'm bored with life. I'm in serious need of a serious change, or something seriously drastic is going to happen whether I want it or not.
I keep having bad dreams. They involve everything I'm scared of - infidelity, rape, incest, drugs, suicide, failure...
They keep me up at night, and give me this horrid hot-rock feeling in my stomach all day long.
I keep losing touch with...reality? I'm not sure. I think I have a bad habit of convincing myself that something is real when it isn't and vice versa.
Goddamn. I'm fucking insane. No?
I need to do something with my life. I'm realizing that spending every waking hour either working or sitting on a couch watching TV makes me depressed and angry, and I end up taking it out on both me and the people that I care about. (Duh.)
But...at this point, doing "something" other than the aforementioned would mean not seeing the people I care about at all. Tough choices make me want to rip what little hair I actually have out. I lose either way, so...what's the point?
Gah.
On another note:
I've learned that creative endeavors keep me somewhat sane. Welding makes my naughty bits tingle. Currently, web design is making me want to throw up, but...I trudge on. (Actually..I've been slacking. Shh.)
Methinks tomorrow I'll make the trek to Boston for the Boston Tattoo Convention with some friends.
Ear infections can eat my ass.
I hope today isn't as crappy as yesterday was. I can't take rainy days. They make me want to sleep, and sleeping all day makes means no productivity. No productivity makes me feel useless.
Gah.
I spent a whole shit ton of time trying to get my thoughts and feelings out, but I'm not sure it's accomplished anything.
I suck at this game.
Productivity time, methinks. There's cleanin' to be had, and spendin' to be done.
SGland, I love you, but I think you're just not for me, maybe...
Have a wonderous day, lovelies!
I love how everyday is a disapointment. Even moreso, I love how every disapointment is probably my fault.
Moving on...
I'm bored with life. I'm in serious need of a serious change, or something seriously drastic is going to happen whether I want it or not.
I keep having bad dreams. They involve everything I'm scared of - infidelity, rape, incest, drugs, suicide, failure...
They keep me up at night, and give me this horrid hot-rock feeling in my stomach all day long.
I keep losing touch with...reality? I'm not sure. I think I have a bad habit of convincing myself that something is real when it isn't and vice versa.
Goddamn. I'm fucking insane. No?
I need to do something with my life. I'm realizing that spending every waking hour either working or sitting on a couch watching TV makes me depressed and angry, and I end up taking it out on both me and the people that I care about. (Duh.)
But...at this point, doing "something" other than the aforementioned would mean not seeing the people I care about at all. Tough choices make me want to rip what little hair I actually have out. I lose either way, so...what's the point?
Gah.
On another note:
I've learned that creative endeavors keep me somewhat sane. Welding makes my naughty bits tingle. Currently, web design is making me want to throw up, but...I trudge on. (Actually..I've been slacking. Shh.)
Methinks tomorrow I'll make the trek to Boston for the Boston Tattoo Convention with some friends.
Ear infections can eat my ass.
I hope today isn't as crappy as yesterday was. I can't take rainy days. They make me want to sleep, and sleeping all day makes means no productivity. No productivity makes me feel useless.
Gah.
I spent a whole shit ton of time trying to get my thoughts and feelings out, but I'm not sure it's accomplished anything.
I suck at this game.
Productivity time, methinks. There's cleanin' to be had, and spendin' to be done.
SGland, I love you, but I think you're just not for me, maybe...
Have a wonderous day, lovelies!
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
kneeco:
When I need to change something I usually move. Sometimes when it gets really extreme I may shower also but thats only in desperate times. Seriously though a change in location is great for reinventing yourself.
stina:
you know there are teas you can drink before bed.. tis not like taking sleepign drugs or whatever.. they are herbal stimulants that help balance your head out.. teas! This page has some spells and shit.. dunno abotu them.. but they list some teas you can use that I know WORK! XO