xevilxashleyx

So, I though that after a few hours of sleep I'd feel better this morning...but I was wrong.
If anything, I feel worse in every way possible.
I fell asleep in the middle of a phone call today - I was on hold for all of maybe 10 seconds and I fell asleep with my head on my hand..Ugh.

Things are brewing in my head, and I can't seem to shake them though I'm not sure why. I know it's nothing to worry about, but the fact of the matter is that I'm fucking worried for what seems, in my head, to be a valid reason...though I know that in the grand scheme of things it's no such thing.

Just today, I read something that made my heart sink...again. I refuse to go into detail, but theres something going on around here that's got me super upset...and I honestly can't decide if it's valid or not. I'm not quite sure what to do about the situation - do I confront the person? Do I let it go and see what happens? I'm not sure.

I also read this thread, and it made me think, albeit inadvertantly...
Basically, MissMyla is talking about the "Swinging Vine" theory - people who can't let go of one person until they have a new person to latch on to. Most of us know them as serial daters...
I used to be one of these people a few years ago, and then things happened that just made me change, I guess. I'm not sure when exactly it happened, but it obviously did because now I don't latch on to anyone, ever.
I just feel it puts me at too much of a disadvantage - when that person decides to move on and tell me it's over and they're just not 'in' to me (which is inevitable, really) I won't be nearly as hurt by the whole ordeal since I never let them 'in' in the first place...get it? That way, I can let people come and go without feeling much of anything...

Bah!

I could sit and rant and rave about this bullshit all day and all night and never get anywhere with it...
I had a whole ton typed out but decided this was just not the place to type it, and so, it's elsewhere...

Right now, I'd like to be pounced on. It's been so long since I've been pounced on, and I can't take it.
I want an hour of foreplay...
I want to make out and dry hump and grope and be groped...
I want my shirt torn off and my skirt hiked up, because goddamnit, theres no time to get naked when theres sex to be had...
I want to be spanked and licked and pinned down and fucked up...
I want to be bound and gagged and be called a dirty little bitch...
I want some dirty talk, whispered into my ear...
I want to scream until my lungs hurt and teased until I writhe from the torture...
I want my fucking hair pulled and my neck bit and I want to want it so bad that it hurts...
And I don't want it to ever stop...

*Sigh.*