xenos

Why does life constantly make me doubt?
Doubt my motivations...
Doubt my emotions...
Doubt... me...

Sometines you just read something, or hear something, and it sends your brain into a tailspin... around and around and around, with the ground coming up fast...

I used to punch holes through the ground... to rip pieces of myself away on the jagged edges... to cover myself with scar tissue... to fall and fall with no hope of ever stopping... I learned to hate the feeling... learned to shove it away... learned to push myself back up....

But I still fall sometimes... I still head for ground at a million miles an hour... still hit bottom... but now I stop dead, flat and numb at the bottom of a crater, and have to drag myself up the sides... I don't punch through anymore... I don't fall endlessly... and sometimes I miss the feeling.

Ever wonder if you've numbed youself to the world?
I do...