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xchaosx

Hell

Member Since 2004

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Wednesday Apr 06, 2005

Apr 6, 2005
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Ok, so I'm feeling worlds better today. Between my own work, Momsy, and Duke, I don't think I have any more pesky, itchy glass shards in my skin. My arm and knee have stopped aching... and once Duke popped my upper back last night, all was gravy.

I think I got out of the wreck unscathed. Thank God. I really agree with Duke on the fact that there was some divine intervention there. He says God... I'll just stick to divine intervention... I guess I'm just not so sure in my own beliefs to know exactly what to say, thus the insecurity of agnosticism, right? All that I know is that there were 50 million things that could have gone differently, and too many worse endings for the scenario. Things are in bigger and brighter perspective now, I have to say.

I've not discussed this, but I was considering a full tear-down of my life and rebuilding... Stripping it all away, family, friends, everything and everyone. I was even, for a time now, considering breaking up with Duke because of all of the life issues that we're encountering. Some of these seem so very impossible to overcome. But I've been doing some thinking.. a lot of thinking, about the state of my life.

I really don't know what I'd do if I didn't have my kids and Duke in my life. Duke keeps me sane and keeps it in my mind that someone loves me and thinks that I'm a decent person (boy, do I have him fooled! wink ). He listens to me and can bring a smile to my face before anyone else has a chance. Maybe I just lost sight of the whole picture, you know? In rough comparison, yes, we still have issues after a year, but they're really nothing that won't pass. And I love him, more than I have anyone in the past (sorry, guys...).

So anyhow... I'm getting way too deep in my thinking here, so I'll lighten up. Roscoe came into work with me today. He's behaving extraordinarily well. My coworkers are appaulled at his size, but he's made several new friends this morning. However, I think it's time for a cigarette and doggy pee break. Besides, I have some jerky chip dog cookies in the truck that I think he might just enjoy.
tattooduke:
i love you to baby smile
Apr 21, 2005

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