Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

xchaosx

Hell

Member Since 2004

Followers 12 Following 12

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Wednesday Jan 12, 2005

Jan 12, 2005
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
Have you ever had a thought pop into your head... a memory from a conversation past, maybe... that just nag-nag-nags the fuck out of you? But only when you're alone and not wanting to think about the negatives? I've been thinking about something said to me about a week ago and I can't get past it. Well... I can, somewhat... I can shove it aside and forget about it for a bit, but it always comes back up in the chaos of my fucked up thought process. I can't make myself bring it up in conversation. I don't want to talk about it to anyone.

I leave the company on Friday. My short and sweet notice is almost up. Good riddance to foul rubbish - I got tired of the endless compliments to my work ethic and my skills, but no job offer. They kept me temporary until I got tired of the game. So.... what have I done? Quit my job with no safety net? Fuck no. I'm not that stupid. I start a job with a local engineering firm next week... less than a week after they first received my resume'. Fuckin right, doggie. So... that part of life is going well...

But what of the rest? This shit will drive me mad. I think I'm halfway there. Just watch. So, I've a new job... Recent past, I got a new vehicle... I think I'm going to try a new, though similar, direction with my degree... What else of the past can I shed?

Perhaps part of my conscience when I do what I'm thinking next. Something just came to mind.
deadofwinter:
I havent been a member for long. I just read what you wrote and believe it or not I admire you. There is a strength there. In a way it is what I am trying to find in myself right now. I used to have it and never thought it would fade. but recently life fell to shit and just kept falling. I looked to past to find signs of strength, figuring I could say that I have been here before and made it out ok. But as I began to put the past in my journal entries, it made things worse. I realized I never really dealt with it any of it, I just tried to move on and the past just became ghosts that now have come back to haunt me.
I dont know what compelled me to write that, but for some reason I needed to...
Take Care and congrats on the new job!!!
Jan 13, 2005

More Blogs

  • 06.11.05
    2

    Saturday Jun 11, 2005

    Doesn't really make much sense to keep writing somewhere that no one …
  • 06.06.05
    0

    Tuesday Jun 07, 2005

    I just wrote a huge update... and this fucking website ditched it. …
  • 06.06.05
    0

    Monday Jun 06, 2005

    Blah, blah, blah, and welcome to my little corner of existance and ve…
  • 05.19.05
    0

    Thursday May 19, 2005

    Duke and I had a conversation, earlier tonight, about the things that…
  • 05.17.05
    0

    Tuesday May 17, 2005

    Oh Lorrrrrd, it's harrrd to be hum-ble... when you're purrrrr-fect in…
  • 05.12.05
    1

    Thursday May 12, 2005

    Escuta e repete... "I will not make my own life a living hell by o…
  • 05.11.05
    0

    Wednesday May 11, 2005

    Yeah... it's one of those days. It's been awhile since I've even b…
  • 04.06.05
    1

    Wednesday Apr 06, 2005

    Ok, so I'm feeling worlds better today. Between my own work, Momsy, a…
  • 04.05.05
    2

    Tuesday Apr 05, 2005

    So, we now know that Integras, while they cannot fly, have an amazing…
  • 03.18.05
    0

    Friday Mar 18, 2005

    Let's start today by saying that in the 1330s a plague spread across …

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

24
years
0
months
24
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,610 SuicideGirls
  • 1,113,818 followers
  • 14,983,343 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,541,541 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Complaint / Content Removal Policy | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo