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xchaosx

Hell

Member Since 2004

Followers 12 Following 12

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Saturday Sep 11, 2004

Sep 11, 2004
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Seeing someone's true colors and hearing their honest opinion of you can be a rather vile experience. I'm down a few friends now, I suppose. I've gotten over or through worse in the past, so fuck it. Something about today. After this morning's bullshit, into which I will not delve, I'm through with being the compassionate and ever-supportive friend to people who covet their ego and feel that everyone owes them something. I'm over that time that I forced myself to deal with emotion and give selflessly to make my friends and loved ones happy. So maybe the bitch is back for a bit. I'm just not going to bitch down to a male chauvanistic mastadon with the social grace of a brahma in a china shop.

I still insist that interacting with common human nature makes me more crowd-pleasing every day. Another lesson of today: denial is everywhere.

My only positive note for today has been the morning aquisition of a new ring - a 4.01ct pear-shaped hunk of bling-fucking-yes-its-real-diamond-bling. I traded up from my 3.3ct. A bit of self-spoiling never hurt anyone.

Hopefully Duke will come over tonight, but I'm not really holding my breath. Now if I could just get these thoughts out of my head and find something to do besides playing on the computer...

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