xburningmikex

I don't like it, but I need to face that fact that I will never be happy for more than a few minutes at a time. I will die alone and will likely have no one but myself to blame for it. I like to create art to let myself put the pain aside momentarily. I do art shows that go well to assist even longer in my anti-feeling struggle, but it ends up messing up my head in the end. I have an eating disorder because I'm always worried about my weight. I never forget what happens to me, and even though I forgive publically, I cannot look past things personally. I do know what love means, but have no one to return the highest of emotions. I will always chase this dream, but will never be able to actually achieve it. I am pathetic. Can you deal with that?