xatreyux

So I really hate it when I get my hopes up and everything seems like its going to go my way in the end, but then I find out its notespecially when it comes to guysand im aware that the person im talking about is going to read thisIts fucking inevitableeverything has to go wrong and make me want to rip my guts out and vomit at the same timeI tried to make myself not care, and I tried to tell myself not to get my hopes up but look whats happenedand whats the worst is that I have no one to talk to about it, Im all alone like always, except for my sg journal, its the one faithful ear. Anyway Im going to go watch the wizard of oz. it brings back so many happy memories when I didnt have a broken family, when I wasn't being pull in 2 different directions for Christmas, and how I was never the middle man between parents...Anyway Im going to sleep after I finish watching it and hope I never wake up againhave a nice night



PS sorry I couldnt produce a happy, good vibe, entryI guess its just not a very happy time in my life I guessbut I put on a smile and fake it as always, crying by myself and pushing my feelings down until one day they just explodeI feel so alone

PPS - I spent more money again today...more CDsBuying CDs is relaxing for me...its an anti-depressant, like eating is for some people. Its comforting because music will never tell me that Im only its friend, it will always love me...

+Official Countdown+
2 days till Chimaira \m/
9 days till Return of the King
135 (I think) days till Eighteen Visions new CD, Obsessions
188 (I think) days till Atreyus new CD, The Curse

Music: .
Feeling: like something/someone hates me up there

Missing you is just one more kiss
-------------------------------------------------------------------
This week I am being a whore for Bleeding Through. Go check out their video "On Wings Of Lead" or send your good buddies a fancy Ecard