xaqary

Penthouse



Deer Fourum,

I found your book in my daddys dresser. It was funny and I showed it to Lonnie and Jamie and Miss Fortino and Principal Walton who showed it to my mommy who made me show her where I got it from and when I showed her we found a lot of funny magazines. I laughed.

My parents are getting a divorce.

That makes me sad.

Billy Timmons,
Sarasota, Fla.



Penthouse-


Hey.

Ive been on staff at your magazine for eight years now, and I gotta say, I am totally fucking wiped

Im spent. And yeah, Im spent the way a middle-aged auto mechanic is when he blows his wad on the nubile quad-breast platter of twin Swedish cheerleaders playing hooky from their nursing school program. I GET IT.

But, Jesus Christ, dont you guys get sick of hearing the SAME fucking thing over and over? I mean, honestly, there are only eight socio-sexual archetypes that can be placed in various incarnations of five acceptably taboo settings.

Shakespeare turned the same four stories into 37 plays of varying brilliance, and Ive wasted my entire fucking life delineating the finer points of Her First Anal for a paycheck

God, please dont let this gun jam on me. I dont know if I have the courage to pull the trigger twice

Trigger Happy,
New York., N.Y.