xaphanthefallen

Well Gentle Readers, there was a lull in the near constant work life of this fallen angel and the necessity to follow the commericalization of a Christian holiday arose again. I gathered all my strength and headed to one of the local malls. Good lord, i feel Kevin Smith penned it best in Mallrats. It's a Monument to Consumerism. When i looked upon on my fellow humans, i saw not people but sheep. Loads of mindless sheep, all purchasing at an alarming rate. I felt that way too, traveling from store to store, and it sickened me. When I finally purchased my gifts, a sense of relief washed over me. I could finally escape! So i did just that.

However, one thing did become apparent in my yule time shopping. Even as it sickened me; everyone else was happy. Families were to together smiling, kids hanging onto Santa for as long as possible, and couples were in loving spirits. I miss those days, being with family and knowing nothing but happiness; living in a state that was blissfully ignorant of anything remotely related to suffering. Most of all, I miss having someone during the holiday season. Someone to hold, care for, and to love. I can only recall one year when I had this, when i was dating Butterfly.
Having no one always pains me in my soul. I know that it seems melodramatic to be dwelling on this but oh well. I miss love, that ever allusive emotion and it seems that i shan't ever find it again.