fuck man, i feel like shit. I think im getting a fever from this shot i got earlier today and i haven't taken any fluxotine or whatever its called in a couple days.
A lot of my friends are back in town for thanksgiving break from their respective colleges but they are all at the one place i really dont want to be at, playing some stupid video game, so i decieded to come back home. I dont know if it's the lack of fluxotine and stuff, but lately, i just haven't really liked anyone. Everyone just seems to be asking me for things all the time and I, like an idiot, keep trying to deliver. And im just getting shafted over and over again. Now I'm getting paranoid and thinking about everyone just meeting up in private and thinking of new ways to screw me over. I honestly cant remember the last time something truely good happened or the last time I was actually happy. Actually happy! I was beyond depressed as far back as middle school, and haven't really felt anything since I was half way through high school. Quite frankly, i prefer feeling like shit. kinda like i do right now. It just sucks still.
why cant i just find some people to hang out with to just have fun.....including me having fun. Im sick of endding up watching movies that I've already seen and hated the first time. Its basically, "Do this, or leave" and I wont have anything else to do becuase everyone is there. Maybe I just need more friends. But, if I dont even have any that I actually like, real ones would be a very rare comodaty. Oh well, fuck 'em all.
Now im actually wondering if anyone has any real friends. It might be that i just cant imagine it, but does anyone have anyone that they could trust or depend on?
this really isn't helping. I usually can put down my thoughts here and than just forget about them and relax, but Im just feeling worse than ever right now. I need to get drunk and play some Contra III. Maybe ill just go lay down.
Demonic evil incarnate an emissary of suffering.
Reveled in their helpless anguish again and again.
A string of shattered victims left in the wake of his sickness.
Emerge from the horror to bring it to its end.
"Forgiveness Denied" by Earth Crisis
A lot of my friends are back in town for thanksgiving break from their respective colleges but they are all at the one place i really dont want to be at, playing some stupid video game, so i decieded to come back home. I dont know if it's the lack of fluxotine and stuff, but lately, i just haven't really liked anyone. Everyone just seems to be asking me for things all the time and I, like an idiot, keep trying to deliver. And im just getting shafted over and over again. Now I'm getting paranoid and thinking about everyone just meeting up in private and thinking of new ways to screw me over. I honestly cant remember the last time something truely good happened or the last time I was actually happy. Actually happy! I was beyond depressed as far back as middle school, and haven't really felt anything since I was half way through high school. Quite frankly, i prefer feeling like shit. kinda like i do right now. It just sucks still.
why cant i just find some people to hang out with to just have fun.....including me having fun. Im sick of endding up watching movies that I've already seen and hated the first time. Its basically, "Do this, or leave" and I wont have anything else to do becuase everyone is there. Maybe I just need more friends. But, if I dont even have any that I actually like, real ones would be a very rare comodaty. Oh well, fuck 'em all.
Now im actually wondering if anyone has any real friends. It might be that i just cant imagine it, but does anyone have anyone that they could trust or depend on?
this really isn't helping. I usually can put down my thoughts here and than just forget about them and relax, but Im just feeling worse than ever right now. I need to get drunk and play some Contra III. Maybe ill just go lay down.
Demonic evil incarnate an emissary of suffering.
Reveled in their helpless anguish again and again.
A string of shattered victims left in the wake of his sickness.
Emerge from the horror to bring it to its end.
"Forgiveness Denied" by Earth Crisis
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
You already have spent time with the Day/Night/Zui triumvirate, right? That's something positive. I was denied Zui Friendlist! (but it's okay; I know we've only talked very little at SGB2... hell, I've been dropped from people's Friends list, and it's like... hey, it's their list, no biggie).