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what can i say?.......im so saddened. i cant stop crying.

i loved him from the start...and i never stopped..no matter what they said.

some of my earliest memories involve his music as a backdrop.


a life without him seems surreal to me
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enne:
Aww sweetie! I so couldnt believe it when I heard either, I really didnt! It's so weird isnt it!!! frown x
nikonphoto80:
i already told you I was sorry on face book, but I didnt want to not comment here, I hope you feel better.
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whoa....im getting shit at updating here....im on facebook more these days.

i think its just cos im always much more honest on here about how im feeling etc....things that are happening with my mum etc...but lately i just kinda dont want to talk about it if you know what i mean.

on the whole though...its ok....brian finally has a job interview! its only taken nearly...
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lior:
I know you wont smile

I wish I were there now and not stuck here. I'm about ready to snap with it all.
nikonphoto80:
well if you dont want to talk about it then I will not ask, but are things going better with your mom or have they gotten worse?

I really hope he gets the job.

Im glad your little boy is doing so well.

I hope his mom enjoys her stay.

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ive been in a bad place for a couple of days...well...weeks really.

im still kind of there but im trying to get out.


other than that, i actually cant believe how quickly louis is changing....he doesnt seem so baby like anymore...hes got more toddler like.

its really kinda shocked me. he totally has likes and dislikes, favourite toys, least favourite noises, etc.

hes a real...
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shanedoe:
hey, what's up with you? hope you're alright and all!!
cheers!! kiss
lior:
Yeah it sucks. No matter how long you know about it and that its coming it doesn't get any easier.
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is thankfull for the comments....i think we will be ok.....its just super hard at the mo.....nothing seems to be going right, and we both are stressed out.

ive been crap with the workouts lately....i just have lost all motivation
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lior:
Mine too smile

Aaron always forgets important stuff like that, so I take care of it all otherwise it won't get done. But its still driving me mad tongue

I'm going to miss the rats when we go. They're middle aged now, rats only live to around 2 years, so I'm worried someone won't want to take on two older girls frown I'm going to try find a rescue to take them because I don't trust anyone else not to feed them to snakes or set them 'free' - they're domesticated and not like the wild ones, so they panic, can die from stress and usually get eaten by cats or other animals frown
lior:
They are super smart, and cute biggrin

I'm definitely taking them to a rescue I think. I just cant trust people to give them as much attention and love as I do. I'd hate for them to be shoved in a corner and forgotten about frown
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im struggling to keep hold of our relationship......the stress of everything right now is killing us
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nikonphoto80:
Have you sat down and talked about everything? Communication is the key to any great relationship.
goodfuckingbye:
You know I'm here if you need me, love ::hugs:: You and Bri are great together, and even though the pressure of everything that's going on around you is making life so difficult, you'll get through it. As nikonphoto says, you need to sit down and try to talk through everything calmly and figure out a plan. Just think about everything you have together...think about little Louis. If anything will keep you going, it's him. Everything will work out hun, I'm sure it will ::hugs:: please talk to me if you need to...it kills me to think of you suffering in silence. Love you :*
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well i walked for 2 and half hours all over the fields and over little bridges and things

thanks for the words of support smile
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rockergrrrl:
I hope you're feeling better hun. Thanks for the compliment on my hair. I was intending to go much brighter but this was the brightest they had at the place where I got it done. Maybe next time! lol

Hope your days get brighter and brighter.
lior:
I got a set and I'm sitting here looking at it in my lounge room. Everything actually feels real now, like I'm def going and not just talking about it biggrin

So excited now biggrin
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im gonna pass on the workout today and go for a long walk instead...i think the fresh air will do me good
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nikonphoto80:
fresh air is always good and your still getting in a little work out so I think you are doing really good.
goodfuckingbye:
I hope your walk helps hun ::hugs:: pm me if you need to. I'm here for you xxx
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i dont feel much like talking today
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rockergrrrl:
frown sorry hun. I hope you feel better soon.

thank you for the compliment on my pics. The Mummy one was a bit freaky wasn't it?
lior:
smile Thanks.
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im so tired...i just did an hours cardio and its totally knackered me out!

theres a chance we will be having a bbq today, since we have a bbq that has never been used and my mum sid they would buy the food......we shall see...it might be tommorrow;.....or knowing my mum, it might never happen.

me and brian were wondering what my mum was gonna...
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nikonphoto80:
Im tired from a crazy weekend and a long drive. Wow an hr of cardio is a long time smile

I hope you did have that bbq.

I really hope your mom will spend more time with you then, maybe this will be good for your relationship.

Well you never know, she may not go thru with that, people who dont know how to drive at an older age hardly ever learn how to drive.

Never give up hope, I have seen people who were treated bad by their parents become close to them years later, some times people have an epiphany and it cases them to make big changes in their life.

lior:
I don't think so. About a year after we first got together we were having some issues, and that's pretty much the only time she's ever really liked him.

I think its more of a matter of her not wanting to see me happy because I 'don't deserve it'. She's said as much before mad
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my sister is buying a house.........

its perfect.

everything i desire in life......big things....small things......they all seem to fall into her lap, and i have to struggle to even make them a possiblity for me.

i feel like shit about this.

i am bitter.

she gets everything
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lior:
Hahaha. I want to get packing too tongue I doubt I'll be packing much really, I don't want to pay the excess baggage or to ship everything over tongue I'm cheap like that biggrin
christinarenee:
Im sorry baby doll *hugs*