xalicex

thankyou for all the lovely comments on my zoo pictures!!


so....my sister has really pissed me off.
when we went down to norfolk to see brians parents, we figured the next time we would be seeing them would be after the baby is born. so his mum wanted to make sure we had decided on everything we wanted. we went out to the shops and had a good look and made some decisions and she went ahead and ordered everything. fine by us.
i figured....well im 22 weeks now, way past the 12 week 'safety zone' and besides....we wanted the stuff here so we could get organised.
seeing as the last time we were pregnant we lost the baby after not doing anything, we have been holding off till a lot longer, but it seemed right at this stage to start buying things.

so my sister called me, and asked how it was, and what did we buy etc..... then she says in a really know it all tone " i cant believe you have gone and bought all that stuff now, its tempting fate alice"

so i spat back " well i think we have had our share of bad luck so far dont you?"

i mean we lost our first baby, we are jobless and have no money, and the only good thing we have right now is our future as a family.

it just really pissed me off, because it has taken me all this time to feel more confident in this pregnancy, and to feel like it is actually gonna happen, ive been letting myself get exited, and we have been using the doppler less. but since she practically said that if something goes wrong i called it too , i feel shitty again.

if something happens to this baby, us owning a bunch of stuff isnt gonna be the cause, we had to start thinking more positivly, and shes just pissed me off.

we didnt do anything "wrong" with the previous baby and look where that got us.

im not stupid, i know things can still go wrong. im in contact with people who have lost babies every step of the way, so im not taking this baby for granted, i just wanted to have a little something.....oh i dunno.