Today I joined the ever-growing list of identify theft victims in the US.
October 20th 2003.
Some anonymous guy calls t-mobile pretending to be me. He/she adds an additional line to my account and changes my billing address to an address in California.
December 15th 2003.
My t-mobile cell phone service is suspended for being $900 overdue. I immediate call up and explain to the sales clerk that I have never lived in California and that I never added a second line to my account nor made hundreds of calls to people in California. The women is very polite and cancels the second line and credits my account for $900 some dollars. I attribute the entire incident to that of typical phone company incompetence and think nothing more of it till today.
Two weeks ago.
I walked into the local 5/3 bank and ask to open up a savings account. I hand them my ID, and wait patiently with my money as the guy in a suit types endlessly at his keyboard. After several minutes he tells me in no uncertain terms that I can not open up a bank account at this bank. I am shocked to say the least. I have never been denied credit, let alone a free bank account. He gives me some pointless 800 number to call and I jump though there hopes with no success at actually finding out why I was told I couldnt open up a checking account. To say the people at that 800 number were incompetent and utterly rude would be paying them a compliment. I brush the incident off. After all I have 4 bank accounts already so my need for a 5th inset very pressing. I let the matter go and get back to life as usual.
Today 6:00 pm ET.
The news on my car worsens. Every time I call I speak to a different mechanic and its a different problem. In the 4 days since I last spoke to them the car has gone from needing an $850 piece of plastic to needing a $4000 motor. How a cars motor can explode while sitting in a mechanics shop is beyond me and will be the subject of a future journal entry. Nevertheless feeling that it may be time to dump the old car and buy a new one I jump online for a quick check of my credit. I was hoping my credit score had made it over 700 so I could get a decent rate. I forked over $9.95 to some bullshit company for a peak at my report. I was shocked. My credit score was in the toilet. In fact I was in the lowest 20% of the nation. How the hell could this be? In a panic realizing I couldnt great a loan for a toothbrush let alone a car with this credit score I forked over another $24.95 to the same bullshit company for a look at all my credit reports. And there looming in my credit report was the answer to my problems. Not only do I no longer live in the state of Michigan but I also have a Verizon phone bill that is $345 past due since February of 2004 and is currently assigned to some nasty collection agency. This was of course all news to me since I have never owned a Verizon phone. Nor have I ever lived in the state of California. There was something about that address in California. Something eerily familiar about it. I had seen it before, somewhere. Sure enough, a quick call to t-mobile and sure enough its the same asshole that used my t-mobile account.
Today 7:00 pm ET.
After a pleasant chat with a guy from t-mobile I have some promising information. Not only do I have a confirmation on his address, but I have a list of every phone call he made for the 3 months between 10/20/03 and 12/15/03. (anyone up for some prank calls?).
Today Midnight ET.
I get on google. Time to track this fucker down. Turns out he lives in a suburb of LA population 86,000. By 2am I have the names and phone numbers of everyone in the building he is living in, along with satellite photos of it taken from low earth orbit. And quite possible most importantly the number of the police department several blocks away.
Things to do tomorrow.
1. Call Verizon and get more info on this guy.
2. File two police reports, one here and one in California.
3. Send letters to the three major credit reporting agenesis with attached police report.
4. Offer lifetime memberships to any of my LA members that can get me a photo of this guy or other info such as licensee plate number.
Next week.
If the police dont arrest this guy and I suspect they wont do anything but cluck there tongues and admit it was an unfortunate situation I am going to call every number on that phone bill until I find out everything I can about this jerk. I am going to call his work. His girlfriend, his friends. And I am going to keep calling till I get him on the phone.
Instead of jail for people like this, you should simply be allowed 5 minutes in a room with them and a baseball bat. No jail, no probation, just a good solid beating.
edit:
police report filed... though i got bad news on the car... aparently somehow the engine that worked perfectly when i drove the car into the dealership nolonger functions at all.. which strikes me as odd... i think im going ot have to go in and talk to thes people.
October 20th 2003.
Some anonymous guy calls t-mobile pretending to be me. He/she adds an additional line to my account and changes my billing address to an address in California.
December 15th 2003.
My t-mobile cell phone service is suspended for being $900 overdue. I immediate call up and explain to the sales clerk that I have never lived in California and that I never added a second line to my account nor made hundreds of calls to people in California. The women is very polite and cancels the second line and credits my account for $900 some dollars. I attribute the entire incident to that of typical phone company incompetence and think nothing more of it till today.
Two weeks ago.
I walked into the local 5/3 bank and ask to open up a savings account. I hand them my ID, and wait patiently with my money as the guy in a suit types endlessly at his keyboard. After several minutes he tells me in no uncertain terms that I can not open up a bank account at this bank. I am shocked to say the least. I have never been denied credit, let alone a free bank account. He gives me some pointless 800 number to call and I jump though there hopes with no success at actually finding out why I was told I couldnt open up a checking account. To say the people at that 800 number were incompetent and utterly rude would be paying them a compliment. I brush the incident off. After all I have 4 bank accounts already so my need for a 5th inset very pressing. I let the matter go and get back to life as usual.
Today 6:00 pm ET.
The news on my car worsens. Every time I call I speak to a different mechanic and its a different problem. In the 4 days since I last spoke to them the car has gone from needing an $850 piece of plastic to needing a $4000 motor. How a cars motor can explode while sitting in a mechanics shop is beyond me and will be the subject of a future journal entry. Nevertheless feeling that it may be time to dump the old car and buy a new one I jump online for a quick check of my credit. I was hoping my credit score had made it over 700 so I could get a decent rate. I forked over $9.95 to some bullshit company for a peak at my report. I was shocked. My credit score was in the toilet. In fact I was in the lowest 20% of the nation. How the hell could this be? In a panic realizing I couldnt great a loan for a toothbrush let alone a car with this credit score I forked over another $24.95 to the same bullshit company for a look at all my credit reports. And there looming in my credit report was the answer to my problems. Not only do I no longer live in the state of Michigan but I also have a Verizon phone bill that is $345 past due since February of 2004 and is currently assigned to some nasty collection agency. This was of course all news to me since I have never owned a Verizon phone. Nor have I ever lived in the state of California. There was something about that address in California. Something eerily familiar about it. I had seen it before, somewhere. Sure enough, a quick call to t-mobile and sure enough its the same asshole that used my t-mobile account.
Today 7:00 pm ET.
After a pleasant chat with a guy from t-mobile I have some promising information. Not only do I have a confirmation on his address, but I have a list of every phone call he made for the 3 months between 10/20/03 and 12/15/03. (anyone up for some prank calls?).
Today Midnight ET.
I get on google. Time to track this fucker down. Turns out he lives in a suburb of LA population 86,000. By 2am I have the names and phone numbers of everyone in the building he is living in, along with satellite photos of it taken from low earth orbit. And quite possible most importantly the number of the police department several blocks away.
Things to do tomorrow.
1. Call Verizon and get more info on this guy.
2. File two police reports, one here and one in California.
3. Send letters to the three major credit reporting agenesis with attached police report.
4. Offer lifetime memberships to any of my LA members that can get me a photo of this guy or other info such as licensee plate number.
Next week.
If the police dont arrest this guy and I suspect they wont do anything but cluck there tongues and admit it was an unfortunate situation I am going to call every number on that phone bill until I find out everything I can about this jerk. I am going to call his work. His girlfriend, his friends. And I am going to keep calling till I get him on the phone.
Instead of jail for people like this, you should simply be allowed 5 minutes in a room with them and a baseball bat. No jail, no probation, just a good solid beating.
edit:
police report filed... though i got bad news on the car... aparently somehow the engine that worked perfectly when i drove the car into the dealership nolonger functions at all.. which strikes me as odd... i think im going ot have to go in and talk to thes people.
VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
cait:
Luckily my work is paying for it- plus I'm not usually squeemish about my own blood- but my finger looks so foreign to me right now with the stitches and stuff, and I would be worried to fuck it up 
spunkrockj:
Where on earth have you been!? Don't tell me the identity theft folk stole your SG identity, too...