i discovered this weekend, that while my judgement, and ability to juggle many people's egos all at once, has gotten better than it used to be...i'm still prone to get caught up in moments when i'm having fun, and have problems being considerate to other people involved. i think the hardest part about being in a relationship of any kind, friendship, lover, spouse...is loving the person enough to care how your actions affect them. it can be confining. our ex-girlfriend had huge issues with being considerate. she thought that it meant the respective other was trying to control her. i care about others, i just forget sometimes. if you're a friend of mine, you've witnessed me not getting in touch as often as i should. it's not that i don't treasure you as a friend, or that i don't enjoy and want to spend time with you...it's just that i get so wrapped up in my day-to-day responsabilities...that i forget i have to maintain friendships. they're always present in my mind, so i figure i am too. unfortunately, most people don't have that sort of hive mind. i'll usually get in touch when i need you. it doesn't mean i'm using you, or viewing you as an object.

so, that's the main thing i'm working on this year...being mindful while having fun. grasping my priorities in the heat of passion. not letting my brain shut down.

but it's an amazingly beautiful day outside...and i plan to enjoy it.
off to the park i goes.