wyspurr

i'm really not a nice person.
and i don't know how to live with that.
i was the girl everyone put "stay sweet" in the yearbook for...because she was so quit and tried not to bother anyone with her life.

maybe i'm being hard on myself...but i relaly need to work on actually caring. i wrote an old girlfriend who i've known for about 6 years. anyway...she started not talking to her friends...or close family in january. my friend joe said he had actually seen her snorting coke, and she's an ex-addict. she was showing all the signs of an addict. one day i confronted her about not being home, or being available. and she lied to me, into my face. after that, i broke away, because i couldn't trust her again. i can forgive just about anything...but lying to me while you know you're lying is not acceptable when you're suppose to love me and i've given you my heart.

anyway, silly me, i wrote her last night telling her i still love her and whatnot...and she got very angry and asked what she ever lied to me about. the hurt side of me is thinking about telling her to fuck off forever.

i'm going to have to face this, and just tell her my side.

i also discovered today that i have a pattern of being attracted to drunk assholes who think i'm pretty.

i have issues.