well. i ended up bringing Ozmodiar in yesterday to the vet instead of Saturday.
The night before the bloated in his tum was so large and his legs had fluid in them. I had to drop him off before work, called my dad later in the day because i told the vet to get in touch with my father and he had to be put down. Ozmodiar was like 11...12ish and he had a tumor in his abdomen and this weird pinkish fluid was in his legs. He likely would not have made it out of surgery, which i knew i couldn't afford. But i guess there are like um...pet credit cards...like for vets that are interest free that you can apply for.
that's good to know. So shortly after this news i am put on break and i call my boss and ask if i could please duck out for like and hour and a half to get picked up so i can put down my dog. He let me leave and come back for five o'clock. I had to be there with Ozmodiar. My dad and i both wanted to be. I stayed through the whole thing. My dad would come in and out for part of it.
what was particularly tricky was watching my father bawl. All this in time to go back to work. I didn't stay home last night because...and on the way to the vet i'm thinking "what am i going to tell Pnut" But that doesn't make sense because it's a dog not a child. I don't want her to be alone so i stuck Sam over with her. But...Ozmodiar and her were "besties" for over ten years. And now that like he's not coming home. What the fuck. Ozmodiar is so many of my aliases and other online assorted shit. So i can't not type out his name every day. My father told me he was very proud of how well i handled it.
Ozmodiar helped me through so much of an awkward existence. Awkward on my end. I sang to him a little. And kissed him on his nose. And told him how much i loved him. He was my first dog. So for realiously he's my O.G.
My best friend's mother died a few years ago and when i came back to work from the vet she had written a little note to me that said "now momma can take care of him for you" that made my heart hurt. I love the shit out of her. She's another o.g. I like distraction. but it can only last for so long.
And i plan to grieve through this sober. That's going to be little tricky. When Amie was murdered..i'd get a little sauced. But i want to do this properly. It just hurts like a mother fuck. I'm lucky that i do have a couple that care. So they are bangin. I think I had Ozmodiar since before i even hopped on to this site. He was...a love.
Anyway that is that and what to do now i 'm not sure but it need to be something positive. When i went to that alternative high school i was part of like a computer club type dealy and we built computers for school and i named the C drive Ozmodiar. So when ever anyone would have to get into that they would have to click on Ozmodiar.
ok i'm done now. i'll go eat cold breakfast and wipe these eyes. thank you. bye for now.
The night before the bloated in his tum was so large and his legs had fluid in them. I had to drop him off before work, called my dad later in the day because i told the vet to get in touch with my father and he had to be put down. Ozmodiar was like 11...12ish and he had a tumor in his abdomen and this weird pinkish fluid was in his legs. He likely would not have made it out of surgery, which i knew i couldn't afford. But i guess there are like um...pet credit cards...like for vets that are interest free that you can apply for.
that's good to know. So shortly after this news i am put on break and i call my boss and ask if i could please duck out for like and hour and a half to get picked up so i can put down my dog. He let me leave and come back for five o'clock. I had to be there with Ozmodiar. My dad and i both wanted to be. I stayed through the whole thing. My dad would come in and out for part of it.
what was particularly tricky was watching my father bawl. All this in time to go back to work. I didn't stay home last night because...and on the way to the vet i'm thinking "what am i going to tell Pnut" But that doesn't make sense because it's a dog not a child. I don't want her to be alone so i stuck Sam over with her. But...Ozmodiar and her were "besties" for over ten years. And now that like he's not coming home. What the fuck. Ozmodiar is so many of my aliases and other online assorted shit. So i can't not type out his name every day. My father told me he was very proud of how well i handled it.
Ozmodiar helped me through so much of an awkward existence. Awkward on my end. I sang to him a little. And kissed him on his nose. And told him how much i loved him. He was my first dog. So for realiously he's my O.G.
My best friend's mother died a few years ago and when i came back to work from the vet she had written a little note to me that said "now momma can take care of him for you" that made my heart hurt. I love the shit out of her. She's another o.g. I like distraction. but it can only last for so long.
And i plan to grieve through this sober. That's going to be little tricky. When Amie was murdered..i'd get a little sauced. But i want to do this properly. It just hurts like a mother fuck. I'm lucky that i do have a couple that care. So they are bangin. I think I had Ozmodiar since before i even hopped on to this site. He was...a love.
Anyway that is that and what to do now i 'm not sure but it need to be something positive. When i went to that alternative high school i was part of like a computer club type dealy and we built computers for school and i named the C drive Ozmodiar. So when ever anyone would have to get into that they would have to click on Ozmodiar.
ok i'm done now. i'll go eat cold breakfast and wipe these eyes. thank you. bye for now.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
omeganightmare:
I'm sorry Wuggly 
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omeganightmare:
Hope you're hanging in there Wuggs.