wsoxfan

I've been going to a social group on Tuesdays for the past month or so. I've met about a dozen people,who all seem pretty nice. I've done a few things with a handful of people in the group, both men and women, like dinner, a movie, just talking on the phone and hanging out.

There's a woman in the group named Ellen. She's 57 years old, but looks ten years younger. She's a redhead, which i'm partial to. We talked a few times and decided to spend an afternoon together.

On Saturday, we went to a festival in a local park. We walked around, ate and sat around and talked. I listened closely to what she had to say about her divorce, her daughter, her recent dating experiences and relationships. The more I listened, the more I felt that possibly dating her and attempting to start a relationship wouldn't be good for me. There were too many red flags based on some things I was hearing from her.

A year ago, I would have ignored my instincts and tried to convince myself that things could work out, even though my gut was telling me that they wouldn't. Despite the fact that she was attractive, I didn't see very much in common between us.

I had similar doubts about Mae-Ann, yet put them aside so that I would have someone to be with. I chose incompatibility over loneliness. That choice turned out to be a didaster.

I'm sure i'll speak with Ellen, and even do things with her in a group setting. However, this time i'm going to follow my instincts and not try to pursue a personal relationship with her. I ve learned a valuable lesson from my time with Mae-Ann. Not having a lady friend is preferable to being with someone that's not right for me. Trying to force the situation wouldn't be fair to her either.

I have confidence that there will be other women in my future. I know there's someone out there who's right for me as well as the other way around.