wsoxfan

Someone I recently met on SG told me the other day that, after reading some of my blogs and comments, it's obvious to him that I've given love and support to a number of people here. He also concluded that I receive the same love and support in return. That's what makes being on SG meaningful and worthwhile for me. I'm sure I've gotten more than I've given lately. I hate that I'm so needy of my friends' support, but very grateful for every bit of it.

Life has never been harder for me than it is now. I keep experiencing one setback after another. No longer being with Mae-Ann is just the latest blow. I'm sure I could have dealt with it pretty well if there weren't so many other things that continue to go wrong. Because of that fact of my life, this latest setback is much harder to take. I have no expectation that things will get better. I don't know what's going to happen to me. I'm trying to hang on, but it's getting harder and harder to do so. I feel alone and scared. It's the worst feeling in the world.

The difference between how I feel now and how I felt after my wife passed away is that I held out hope that, as bad as things were then, it could get better. I don't feel that way this time.