wrigley

so apparently despite the fact that i was "penciled in" i got erased. perhaps next time i should request to be penned in. it sort of sucked because i was in a good mood thinking i was going to finally see michael, he's really dedicated to his research so a lot of the time he's in the lab. but when he came home and i asked him if we were still going to hang out or anything all he kept saying is i'm drunk.....like 20 times in a row. so, feeling slightly rejected i went to bed.
and then today i was talking to richie and i mentioned the word sex, because even though i'm a total masochist i think it would be awesome to be able to dominate someone. and he was like yeah, i'm not into that. and i was like yeah, i figured. and for some reason he took that as me talking about our previous sexual relationship. and he got pissed off. and then i got pissed even though that's not what we were talking about just because he acts like he'd like to forget he ever knew me like that. and it makes me feel really shitty. and to top it all off i can't stand the fact that he has a gf and he looks at her like he never looked at me.

what is so bad about me that makes no one ever give a fuck?