happy christmas eve everyone.
my illness is getting better, which is nice. i mostly just lay around and watch t.v. though, so there really is no reason for me to not be getting better.
my family just exchanged christmas presents with my younger brother's girlfriend. it was actually really really depressing. they've been going out for a year and she got stuff from me, my brother, and then 2 gifts from my parents. my mom even made her a collage of pictures of her and my brother, which in itself isn't bad because she's awesome and i love her....but all i can think the whole time is that i've dated guys for years and they never got anything from the family let alone had gifts that required so much thought, and my mom explains it as "well we never liked them" which just made me feel like shit. it's like gee, thanks, i'm glad i've never dated a worthwhile person. and then the picture taking errupted and all they wanna do is take pics of tom and lauren...so i was like uh, stab me, and went in my room and cried. and i feel like a horrible person for letting it get me so down...but i can't help it. the holidays are always a rough time for me anyway, and this is the first christmas that i've had without the last guy i seriously dated, which was something that lasted for years....so i sort of just feel out of it, like something is missing. and danny invited me to christmas eve at his house and then said he'd take me downtown to go ice skating and look at the christmas decorations...but he's spoken to me once since thanksgiving and i think he's so relieved that i'm not pregnant that he doesn't care about anything else. i feel like now that the drama is over nothing else matters and i've been pushed to the back burner. i'm convinced that holidays really know how to make you hate life.
anyway, that is my rant. and i will admit i feel better getting it all out. i hope everyone has a great holiday season.
and merry christmas...i was bored all day so i took pics. they are up. i'm pretty sure you all must be sick of looking at me now though.
my illness is getting better, which is nice. i mostly just lay around and watch t.v. though, so there really is no reason for me to not be getting better.
my family just exchanged christmas presents with my younger brother's girlfriend. it was actually really really depressing. they've been going out for a year and she got stuff from me, my brother, and then 2 gifts from my parents. my mom even made her a collage of pictures of her and my brother, which in itself isn't bad because she's awesome and i love her....but all i can think the whole time is that i've dated guys for years and they never got anything from the family let alone had gifts that required so much thought, and my mom explains it as "well we never liked them" which just made me feel like shit. it's like gee, thanks, i'm glad i've never dated a worthwhile person. and then the picture taking errupted and all they wanna do is take pics of tom and lauren...so i was like uh, stab me, and went in my room and cried. and i feel like a horrible person for letting it get me so down...but i can't help it. the holidays are always a rough time for me anyway, and this is the first christmas that i've had without the last guy i seriously dated, which was something that lasted for years....so i sort of just feel out of it, like something is missing. and danny invited me to christmas eve at his house and then said he'd take me downtown to go ice skating and look at the christmas decorations...but he's spoken to me once since thanksgiving and i think he's so relieved that i'm not pregnant that he doesn't care about anything else. i feel like now that the drama is over nothing else matters and i've been pushed to the back burner. i'm convinced that holidays really know how to make you hate life.
anyway, that is my rant. and i will admit i feel better getting it all out. i hope everyone has a great holiday season.
and merry christmas...i was bored all day so i took pics. they are up. i'm pretty sure you all must be sick of looking at me now though.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
thurmis:
hey, good to hear you are feeling better. it sucks about not being with someone important around the holidays. I miss my family being together on christmas at the house i grew up in as a child. i dream about it all the time. it also sucks not being with someone to share your day with. i spent the day drinking wine and playing video games. merry christmas. i want to go downtown and go ice skating though, so if your down yo...holla back. xbreastcorex 4 life!
thefall:
Hey Emily, when are we going to have sex?