wren

I dreamt last night that my brother and I were both pregnant.

I asked my mother to take us to the hospital for pregnancy tests. She said that was fine but she couldn't do it until 7:00 PM. "That is going to be too late in the day," I insisted. "Well, I thought we could go to your grandmother's house first, she hasn't seen you in a while. We could visit and then go."

By the time we got to my grandmother's house, I was hugely pregnant and in labor. We walked in the door and I could feel the baby's head crowning so I really quickly whipped off my pants and shouted to my mother that she had to deliver my baby. Being a woman who has had two midwife-assisted home births she did an expert job but as soon as the baby came out she flopped it onto a table next to me and started to walk away. "Wait, wait," I said, "is it a boy or a girl?" "Oh," she replied, as if this were useless, incidental information, "I'm done here." I looked over at the table and the baby was flat, as if it were cut out of paper. "It looks like [ devilducky ]." I said.

I called my mother to tell her about this and when she relayed it to my brother he asked what had happened to his baby. I said I never found out and he was apparently sort of disappointed.

ALSO my mother told me that he was buying ice cream from the ICE CREAM MAN out front when I called. IN NOVEMBER. She stuck her phone out so that I could hear the music from the truck. Because apparently my mother hates me?