wren

When I was 18 my gynecologist ordered an echocardiogram to make sure my heart was healthy enough to go on birth control. She ordered an echo because I told her that my brother had Mitral Valve Prolapse and that judging by our shared symptoms - heart palpitations, intermittent chest pain - I probably had it, too. My brother had been diagnosed with MVP when he was in fourth grade or so, by a pediatric cardiologist, so from the time I was around 11 or so I assumed I had this heart defect, as well. An echo confirmed this assumption - the cardiologist said I had MVP and a "slight" murmur.

Recently I started skating in a roller derby league and began - for unrelated reasons - doing research on my condition. I discovered that MVP can cause "sudden death" - although it's rare - and was told by a cardiac nurse on the internet that I should "definitely" have my MVP monitored, that I should at least be consulting with a cardiologist regularly.

Now that I have good insurance (hooray), I made some calls to find a cardiologist who was in my network. I found a women's heart clinic that could see me and made some calls to have my previous echo faxed to them.

I went to see the doctor today and the first thing she said to me when she walked into the room - before she said hello, before she introduced herself - was, "I don't think you have it".

And I don't. I had a new echo done and my fabulous new doctor called today to tell me that I don't. I'm fine. I've always been fine. I never needed to take antibiotics before going to the dentist. I never needed to worry that lots of cardio exercise might hurt me. I never needed to worry that I might need to have my valve replaced, that I might need open heart surgery when I was fifty, that I might drop dead suddenly for no reason. I NEVER HAD IT. I'M FINE. No MVP. No murmur. Just a perfectly normal, young, healthy heart. Those internists who did my yearly physicals? The ones who listened to my heart after I told them I had MVP and nodded solemnly, saying they heard the characteristic systolic "click" that comes with the condition? THEY WERE FULL OF SHIT. The intermittent chest pain and palpitations? Normal. Totally normal for someone as young and slender as I am. In fact, my doctor told me that she thinks MVP was over-diagnosed in women because they are more likely to experience those symptoms, more likely to be freaked out and more likely to go to the doctor about it. My doctor thinks that there are a ton of women wandering this earth who were told they have MVP because their asshole doctors wanted them to SHUT UP about their unexplainable heart thingies already, and I guess if you don't believe there is nothing wrong with you well FINE you must have some obscure heart defect now please go away. My doctor is awesome.

I'm stunned. Just stunned. This was something that probably wasn't going to kill me or necessarily impacted my daily life, but it definitely sucked and made me worried for my future. When I would gasp over chest pains and palpitations and people would ask me what was wrong I could say "well, I have this heart defect". Now I guess I just have to say "Well, here is the thing - I'm so skinny that I can feel my own heart beating. And could you please close the window because I'm cold." I am Chihuahua Girl! Maybe I'll join the circus.